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9 must-know tips on how to ask a guy out over text

Want to ask him out for a date, but you're too scared? These 9 tips will show you how to successfully ask him out over text!

Dating Expert Janet Smith September 16, 2022 • 7 minutes read
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Love can be such a wonderful but also a scary thing. There is this guy you really fancy and would love to go on a date with? It seems like nowadays, a lot of people are finding love online or in apps, and while that can be great, sometimes the traditional way of asking someone out is still the best way to go.

But you’re too scared to ask him out in person? Well, worry no more! We’ll show you how to ask a guy out over text.

1. Relax

There’s no need to be scared! Asking someone out over text is just like asking them out in person but without the face-to-face awkwardness. Plus, it gives the guy time to think about his answer (and hopefully gives you an answer you’re hoping for!).

So, don’t worry about asking him out over a text message. It’s pretty common nowadays to do so, and it comes with many benefits. So don’t feel ashamed of yourself or anything. In fact, be proud of who you are! You’re asking someone out for a date, woohoo!

2. Show confidence

One of the most important things you can do when asking someone out over text is to show confidence! No one wants to go on a date with someone who seems extremely unsure of themselves.

So, make sure your texts are clear, concise, and confident. You don’t need to use big words or be super formal, but just sound like you know what you want, and you’re not afraid to go for it.

Remember, you’re an attractive woman, and he couldn’t be happier to receive your text!

Do you want to know if you should text him first? The short answer is yes! The long answer hides here.

3. Plan on what to say

Just like with any other conversation, you’ll want to plan out what you’re going to say before you send the text. This will help keep the conversation flowing and make sure that you don’t accidentally send something you didn’t mean to.

There are a few different ways that you can go about this. You could either find a quote that relates to your feelings or find a funny meme that will make the guy laugh. Or, you could simply ask him out in a straightforward way.

No matter what you choose, make sure that it’s something that you’re comfortable with and that will show the guy how much you like him.

Still need some help? Here’re some amazing tips on how to get a guy to chase you!

4. Don’t overthink it

Even though you should plan your text message, don’t overthink it as well! The more time you take to compose a text, the stiffer it may sound. And, this is definitely not the impression you want to give.

So, try and keep your text messages short and sweet, and to the point. This will show the guy that you’re interested in him and won’t make you seem needy or desperate.

Plus, it’s always better to under- rather than over-promise. Just casually ask him like you would ask a friend, just with a pinch of added flattery.

Find out some great ways to tell someone you like them over text.

5. Timing is everything

One thing to keep in mind when asking someone out over text is the timing. You want to make sure that you’re sending the message at a time when the guy is likely to be available.

If you send the text at 2 am, there’s a good chance that he’s not going to be too happy with you! But, if you send the text during the day when he’s likely to be free, then you’re good to go.

But also, if you know that he has a tough exam coming up, it’s probably best to wait until after that’s over before you start messaging him. If you go on his nerves by bombarding him with texts when he’s stressed, then you’re definitely not going to get the answer you’re hoping for.

6. Plan a date

Once you’ve asked him out over text, it’s time to start planning the date! This is the best part, after all.

There are a million and one different things that you could do on your date, but it’s always a good idea to keep it simple when it’s your first date. Of course, you could go all in and be very romantic, but that’s most of the time not the greatest idea for a first date.

For a first date, a cup of coffee or tea is always a great way to get to know each other. It’s also short and sweet – shorter dates are usually better at first because you always leave them wanting more. Plus, it’s a casual way to meet up and won’t take too long.

And if the date doesn’t go as planned, you can leave much sooner than if you were going out for dinner and still waiting for your third course.

If you’re feeling a little bit more adventurous, you could always try out a new restaurant or go for a walk in the park. But, again, keep it lowkey and something that you’re both comfortable with.

7. Keep your expectations low

Remember to keep your expectations low when asking someone out over text. This is especially important if you’ve never met the guy in person before.

You don’t want to get too excited and start planning your life together after just one date. Plus, there’s always the possibility that he may not even want to go on a date with you.

So, take everything one step at a time and just enjoy the conversation for what it is. If things progress from there, then great! But if they don’t, that’s okay too. You’ll find someone else who is perfect for you.

8. The follow-up

Once the date is over, it’s time to start thinking about the follow-up! This is just as important as the date itself and can make or break your chances with the guy.

If you had a great time on the date, let him know! Send a text message telling him how much you enjoyed yourself and that you can’t wait to do it again.

But, if the date wasn’t as great as you had hoped, don’t panic! Just be honest and tell him that you didn’t have as much fun as you thought you would. But make sure that you’re still polite and grateful for the opportunity.

9. How to deal with rejection

So you’ve asked him out over text, and he’s said no. What do you do now? Well, the first thing is to not take it personally. People get rejected all the time because of many reasons, so it’s probably nothing against you.

There are a million reasons why he may have turned you down, so don’t jump to conclusions. Maybe he’s already seeing someone else and doesn’t want to be caught dating two people at the same time. Or maybe he just doesn’t think you’re his type.

So don’t dwell on it too much. Just move on and find someone who is better suited for you. It’s not the end of the world, and there is plenty of other fish in the sea.

So, there you have it! Everything you need to know about how to ask a guy out over text. Just remember to keep it simple and take things one step at a time. If the date goes well, let him know! And if it doesn’t, be polite and move on. You’ll find someone else who is perfect for you.

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  4. Dating for Women: Modern Woman Dating Guide (The Modern Dating Series)
  5. The Awakened Woman's Guide to Everlasting Love
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Dating Expert

Janet Smith

Janet Smith is a freelance writer who writes about psychology, relationships, and dating. She has always been interested in understanding the human brain and how it affects our …

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