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14 tips for how to ask for a second date you should know

So, your first date was a success. This person you've just met is breath-taking, funny, and charming. You've had a great time, and wish you could continue seeing this person again. So, how do you ask for a second date? This article will help you!

Author picture of David Hall
Dating Expert David Hall September 16, 2022 • 8 minutes read
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You’ve met this attractive person, had your first date with them, but now what? It’s time for a second date, of course!

But asking for a second date can be tricky. You want to come across as interested but not desperate. Play it cool, but let your interest be known. But there’s no need to be nervous! Just follow these simple steps, and you’ll be on your way to another amazing date. Here are some tips on how to ask for a second date:

1. Make sure you had a good time

1. Make sure you had a good time

Asking for a second date may be extra challenging if the date was a downer. Make sure you had a good time and that you’re interested in seeing the person again. If the date was bad, it’s probably best to move on.

But don’t give up too fast. Sometimes it’s just our own perception of things, and maybe the date wasn’t that bad for the other person. So, in doubt, be brave and just write them a message.

Do you need some help? Find out some fantastic tips on what to text after the first date!

2. Wait for the right moment

Don’t be too hasty! It’s important to wait for the right moment before asking for a second date. You don’t want to come across as desperate or clingy.

A good moment to ask might be when you’re saying goodbye or when you’re making plans for the next time you’ll see each other. For example, if you had coffee on the first date, why not suggest dinner next time?

If it’s already after the first date and none of you asked the other, wait for a day or two and just text the person you want to meet again! Tell them that you’ve had a great time and would love to see them soon.

3. Be creative

3. Be creative

Don’t be afraid to get a little creative with your request. Sometimes, the most memorable requests come in unique packages. If you want to make a lasting impression, put some thought into your ask and make it special.

A handwritten note or even flowers can work wonders. Just make sure that your gesture is appropriate for the relationship you have with the person. You don’t want to seem like you’re trying too hard or coming on too strong.

And when you finally have that date, you should know some fantastic and creative second-date questions to keep the conversation flowing!

4. Be confident and direct

Oozing confidence will only make asking for a second date easier! People are attracted to confidence, so show off your best side.

When asking, be direct and to the point. There’s no need to beat around the bush. Just say something like, “I had a great time on our date, and I would love to see you again soon.” Simple and effective!

But what to do if you’re not confident? Fake it until you make it! No one is perfect, but if you act like you’re sure of yourself, people will start to believe you. And before you know it, you’ll be confident for real!

5. Take the focus off yourself

5. Take the focus off yourself

If you want to make sure the person says yes, take the focus off yourself. Asking questions like “Do you want to go out again?” or “Would you like to see me again?” puts the other person in a difficult position. They might feel pressured to say yes, even if they’re not really sure.

Instead, try something like, “I’m planning on going to XYZ. Would you like to join me?” This way, you’re not putting the other person on the spot, and you’re still making it clear that you want to see them again. And if it seems like you’re going to XYZ anyway, if they join you or not, they feel way less pressure to accept.

6. Be yourself

The best way to have a great second date is to be yourself! Relax and have fun. Don’t try too hard or put on an act. Just be genuine and let the person get to know the real you.

You don’t want them to fall in love with another person, right? Then don’t act like you’re another person.

7. Don’t overthink it

7. Don't overthink it

The most important thing is to relax and not overthink things. Asking for a second date can be nerve-wracking, but if you take a deep breath and relax, things will go much smoother. You’re just asking them for a date, not for their hand in marriage!

Just be yourself and let the other person get to know you. If they like you, they’ll say yes!

8. Follow up

If you don’t hear back from the person after asking for a second date, follow up! They might have been caught up with something and just didn’t have a chance to respond. So, send them a quick message and ask if they’re free for that date you suggested.

If they don’t answer on your follow-up, it’s best to move on and leave them alone. Don’t keep messaging them, or you might come across as desperate.

9. Don’t play games

9. Don't play games

Asking for a second date shouldn’t be a game. Don’t try to play hard to get or manipulate the other person into saying yes. That’s a bad idea because it is just childish and will only make you look bad.

Be sincere in your request and let the other person make their own decision. If they say no, don’t get too discouraged. There are plenty of other people out there who would love to go out with you!

10. Be positive!

Last but not least, always stay positive when asking for a second date! Nobody likes someone who is negative or constantly putting themselves down. People are drawn to those who have a positive outlook on life and are always looking on the bright side.

So, when you’re asking for that second date, stay positive and upbeat! It will make the other person feel good, and they’ll be more likely to say yes.

11. Be prepared for rejection

11. Be prepared for rejection

Of course, there’s always a chance that the other person will say no. And that’s okay! Not everyone is going to be interested in a second date, no matter how awesome you are.

If you do get rejected, just take it in stride and don’t take it personally. You can’t force someone to like you, and it’s better to know sooner than later if there’s no chemistry.

Keep your head up, and don’t give up! There are plenty of other people out there who would love to go on a second date with you. So, keep dating, and eventually, you’ll find someone special.

12. Have a backup plan

It’s always a good idea to have a backup plan. In case the person you ask says no, or you don’t hear back from them, it’s good to have another date in mind. That way, rejection doesn’t hurt that much.

It may be a good idea to ask a few people out at the same time. That way, you’re not putting all your eggs in one basket, and you’re more likely to get a positive response.

This may seem a bit mean, but come on; most people do it! It’s just human nature to want to increase our chances of success.

And who knows, maybe your backup plan will end up being your new favorite date!

13. Don’t take it too seriously

13. Don't take it too seriously

Second dates shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Just relax and have fun! Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or the other person. Just enjoy each other’s company and see where things go.

If you’re too nervous or serious, it will make the date uncomfortable and less enjoyable for both of you. So, just relax and let things flow naturally.

14. Suggest something fun

When suggesting a second date, try to think of something fun! That way, you’ll both be excited about it, and it won’t feel like a chore. It’s always better to do something that you’re both interested in, rather than something one of you picked out.

Do you need some breathtaking second-date ideas? We’ve got you covered!

That way, you’ll get to know the other person better, and you’ll have a more enjoyable time. Plus, you’ll be more likely to want to go on a third date if the second one is fun!

Asking for a second date can be nerve-wracking, but it’s definitely worth a shot! If you really connected, you just need to ask for one!

Just make sure you follow these simple tips, and you’ll be on your way to another amazing date. Thanks for reading, and good luck on your second date!

Do you need some further tips on second dates? We’ve collected the greatest second-date tips ever in this article!

How to win at early stages dating: The ultimate list of books

If you're looking for books about the early stages of dating, you've come to the right place. We've put together a list of some of our favorite books about dating, all of which are perfect for early stages in a relationship.

  1. Dating Sucks, but You Don't: The Modern Guy's Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner
  2. Seven Secrets of Modern Dating: The He Said, She Said Guide for Getting from Single to Spouse
  3. First Date Mastery: The Complete First Date Psychology Guide For Men
  4. Just Send the Text: An Expert's Guide to Letting Go of the Stress and Anxiety of Modern Dating
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Author picture of David Hall
Dating Expert

David Hall

David Hall is a self-taught dating expert who works as a freelance writer to help people improve their love lives. He has always been interested in dating, physical attraction, and …

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