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11 great tips on how to reject someone nicely over text

Need to reject someone nicely over text? It can be tough since you don't want to be hurtful. But don't worry, we've got you covered. Just follow these simple tips, and you'll be rejecting like a pro in no time!

Author picture of James Mendoza
Dating Expert James Mendoza September 26, 2022 • 7 minutes read
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Rejection is a horrible thing. And it’s even more terrible when you have to reject someone you like. So, it’s not easy for either party. You don’t want to hurt their feelings, but you also don’t want to give them false hope. So, how do you reject someone nicely over text?

1. Be respectful

1. Be respectful

Rejecting somebody is never easy, but it is a part of life. If you are the one doing the rejecting, it is important to do it in a way that is respectful and considerate. No one likes to be rejected, so make sure that you do it in a way that minimizes hurt feelings.

So, being nice is the key to rejecting someone over text. Keep in mind that it’s even more hurtful when you’re mean to the person you’re rejecting.

2. Be honest

But just because you want to be nice when rejecting somebody, don’t lie to them. Be honest about your feelings and why you don’t want to pursue a relationship. Lying will only make things worse and will likely come back to bite you later on.

Honesty is the best policy. Just imagine how you would feel if somebody you liked lied to you about their feelings. It would suck, right? So don’t do that to someone else.

3. Be clear

When rejecting someone over text, make sure that you are clear about your intentions. There is nothing worse than mixed signals. So, if you want to friend-zone someone or let them down easy, make sure that you are clear about it from the start.

You don’t want to leave any room for interpretation. The last thing you want is for them to think that there is still a chance when there isn’t. Nobody likes mixed signals. If you aren’t interested in somebody, don’t lead them on. It will only make things more difficult in the long run.

4. Be firm

4. Be firm

It’s also important to be firm in your rejection. Mixed signals are confusing and can only lead to more hurt feelings. So, if you are certain that you don’t want to pursue a relationship, make sure that you are clear and firm in your rejection.

So, don’t let them bargain with you or try to change your mind. Be firm in your decision, and don’t give them false hope.

5. Timing is everything

The timing of your rejection is also important. You don’t want to wait too long to reject somebody, as that will only make things worse. But you also don’t want to do it too soon, as that can come across as cold and heartless – giving people a chance is important.

Ideally, you want to find a balance between the two. If you’ve been on a few dates and it’s clear that there is no chemistry, then it’s probably best to reject them sooner rather than later. But if you’ve only been on one date, then you might want to give it a bit more time before turning them down.

It should go without saying, but don’t wait for specific dates like Christmas or your birthday. So, don’t be mean and get a gift before telling them to their face that you don’t want anything to do with them. That’s just cold and heartless.

If you want to reject someone, do it when it feels right – not because of a date on the calendar.

6. Use “I” statements

Try not to use “You” statements when rejecting someone. It’s better to use “I” statements, as it sounds less accusatory. For example, instead of saying “You’re not my type,” try something like “I’m not sure we’re a good match.”

It’s a small change but it makes all the difference. So, it’s all about how you say it. And using “I” statements is generally better than using “You” statements. It makes the rejection feel like it’s less their fault.

7. Keep it short and sweet

7. Keep it short and sweet

When rejecting someone over text, try to keep it short and sweet. There is no need to drag things out or to make it more painful than it needs to be. So, be respectful and considerate, but also keep it brief.

Nobody wants to read a novel, even though the person might want to know the exact reasons. That’s why you need to respond to that as well.

8. Respond

You should prepare for any possible response when you reject someone. They might not take it well, and they might want to know the exact reasons why. Be respectful and honest in your response, but don’t give them false hope.

Remember, you’re doing this because you don’t want to pursue a relationship – so don’t lead them on. Be as clear and concise as possible, and don’t give them any false hope.

If they react very toxic to your rejection, it might be best to distance yourself from them. There is no need for drama or toxicity in your life, so don’t hesitate to cut ties with someone who can’t handle rejection in a healthy way.

9. It’s not you; it’s me

When in doubt, use the classic “it’s not you, it’s me” line. This is a great way to let somebody down easy and can help to take the sting out of the rejection.

By using this line, you are essentially telling them that it’s not their fault – it’s yours. You can say that you’re just not looking for something serious now, etc. And while that might not be entirely true, it is a kind way to reject somebody.

But attention: Many people already see through this act, and others might get their hopes up that you’ll change your mind later on. So, only use this line if you’re really struggling. But consider that the struggle could probably not end here.

10. Offer friendship

10. Offer friendship

If you’re feeling particularly generous, you might want to offer the person you’re rejecting friendship. This can help to soften the blow and can make the rejection less hurtful.

Of course, this only really works if you actually want to be friends with the person. If not, then don’t bother – it will only make things worse.

But if you do want to be friends, then offering friendship is a great way to let somebody down easy. Just make sure that you are sincere about it and that you actually follow through on your offer.

11. Be grateful

Finally, don’t forget to be grateful. Even though you are rejecting somebody, they have put themselves out there and have taken a risk. So, make sure to thank them for their interest and for their courage in approaching you.

This can help to take the sting out of the rejection and can make the person feel better about themselves. It’s a nice way to end things on a positive note.

Rejection is a hurtful thing, and rejecting somebody is never easy. But it’s important to do it in a way that is respectful and considerate.

By following the tips above, you can reject somebody nicely over text and hopefully make the process a little bit easier – for both of you.

Do you want to make things even easier? Find out how to stop liking someone – if you know about these tips you may make it easier for the both of you.

The truth about dating: Books you need to read

If you’re looking for advice on how to have more success when it comes to dating, then you’ll want to check out these reads. Each can teach you something different about the process, from being more confident in yourself to reading other people’s signals correctly. So whether you’re just starting or have been dating for a while and could use help, check out these titles.

  1. Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
  2. Love: The Psychology of Attraction: A Practical Guide to Successful Dating and a Happy Relationship
  3. Seriously, This Is Online Dating?: How to Love Yourself Harder and Date Smarter
  4. Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
  5. Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You F*cking Idiot
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Author picture of James Mendoza
Dating Expert

James Mendoza

James Mendoza is a freelance writer who specializes in writing about relationships, marriage, and living happily as a single. After getting through two divorces and being cheated …

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