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So, you’ve been dating this attractive person twice. You had fun on both dates; there was physical attraction and good conversation. You’re both looking forward to the third date. But then, you start texting each other … Now what?
Texting can be a great way to keep in touch between dates, but it can also be a minefield. On the one hand, you want to keep the conversation going and build on the rapport you’ve already established. On the other hand, you don’t want to come on too strong or say the wrong thing.
The key is to strike a balance between maintaining contact and giving each other space. Today, we’ll share some of the best tips for texting between the second and third date:
1. Wait for them to text first
If you want to play it safe, wait for your date to text you first. That way, you’ll know that they’re thinking about you and they’re still interested. If they don’t text you within a day or two after your second date, you can always send them a light-hearted message.
But don’t be too disappointed if they don’t text you. Some people are just not that into texting. So, it’s possible that they’re waiting for you to make the first move. Because when two people wait for each other to text first, it’s gonna be an infinite wait. You don’t want that, right?
2. Keep it light
Remember that the goal is to keep things light and fun. This is not the time to have deep conversations or share your life story. Stick to topics that you both enjoyed discussing on the first two dates.
Also, don’t forget to be funny and upbeat. If you’re constantly showing how bad you feel about yourself or your life, they’re going to lose interest quickly.
3. Be flirty
While you don’t want to come on too strong, a little bit of flirting never hurt anyone. It’s important to show that you’re interested in taking things to the next level. One way to do this is to be slightly flirty in your texts.
This doesn’t mean that you should be sending explicit messages or trying to hook up over text. But a few playful comments here and there can go a long way. That way, you can build sexual attraction without being offensive.
4. Respond promptly
One of the most important texting etiquette tips is to respond promptly to your date’s texts. If they take the time to write to you, it’s only polite that you reply as soon as you can.
Of course, you don’t want to be glued to your phone waiting for their reply. But try to answer within a few hours, or at least within the same day. Don’t play games.
5. Be yourself
At the end of the day, it’s important to be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. This is the person that you want to date, after all. So, there’s no need to put on an act.
Be honest about your feelings and intentions. If you’re not sure about something, just ask. The worst thing that can happen is that they say no. But at least you’ll know where you stand.
6. Text more than once a day
Most people don’t like to receive only one text message a day from the person they like. If they did, they could also return to snail-mail. So, send more than one text a day.
But don’t overdo it either. If you’re texting too much, you might come across as clingy or desperate. People who text all the time come across as if they have nothing better to do.
A good rule of thumb is to text once in the morning and once at night. That way, you can stay in touch without being too pushy. And if the other person replies quicker, you can also text more frequently. It’s up to you.
7. Make a compliment
Everyone likes to receive compliments, so don’t forget to make them. A sincere compliment will go a long way. It will make the other person feel good about themselves, and it will also show that you’re interested in them.
Just don’t lay it on too thick. A genuine compliment is always better than an insincere one. And don’t just compliment their physical appearance. Compliment their personality, their intelligence, or anything else that you find attractive about them. You can say nice things about their smile, their haircut, their style, but don’t say: “You’re so beautiful.”
8. Use proper grammar and spelling
This should go without saying, but use proper grammar and spelling in your texts. No one likes to receive text messages full of typos. It makes you look uneducated, and it’s just plain lazy.
If you can’t be bothered to use proper grammar and spelling, then the other person might not want to text with you either. So, take the time to proofread your messages before you hit send. It’ll make a world of difference.
9. Ask for a third date
If you haven’t already, it’s time to ask for a third date. By this point, you should have a good idea of whether or not the other person is interested in you. If they are, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t ask them out again. Find out what the ideal time between the second and the third date is!
Just be direct and to the point. You can say something like: “I had a great time on our last date. I’m free on Friday. Would you like to go out again?” If they say yes, then great! If not, then at least you know where you stand.
10. Don’t overthink it
Last but not least: don’t overthink things. Texting is meant to be casual and fun, not stressful. If you start to overthink your every move, you’re going to end up in a bad place. So, relax and enjoy the process.
If you can’t come up with something funny, then don’t force it. If you’re not sure about something, then ask. The worst thing that can happen is that they say no, or they think you’re weird. But who cares? You’re just getting to know each other.
Texting between second and third date can be a great way to build an emotional attraction and keep the personal connection strong. Just remember to be yourself, text more than once a day, make a compliment, use proper grammar and spelling, ask for a third date, and don’t overthink it.
If you do all of these things, then you’re sure to have a great time texting with the person you like. And who knows? Maybe you’ll even end up going on a third date.
How to win at early stages dating: The ultimate list of books
If you're looking for books about the early stages of dating, you've come to the right place. We've put together a list of some of our favorite books about dating, all of which are perfect for early stages in a relationship.
- Dating Sucks, but You Don't: The Modern Guy's Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner
- Seven Secrets of Modern Dating: The He Said, She Said Guide for Getting from Single to Spouse
- First Date Mastery: The Complete First Date Psychology Guide For Men
- Just Send the Text: An Expert's Guide to Letting Go of the Stress and Anxiety of Modern Dating
Janet Smith
Janet Smith is a freelance writer who writes about psychology, relationships, and dating. She has always been interested in understanding the human brain and how it affects our …
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