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10 possible reasons why you can't get a girlfriend

It can be tough to figure out why you're having trouble finding and maintaining a girlfriend. You may have plenty of female friends, but something always seems to go wrong when it comes to relationships and dating. Here are 10 possible reasons why you can't get a girlfriend.

Author picture of David Hall
Dating Expert David Hall September 28, 2022 • 7 minutes read
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It can be tough trying to find a girlfriend. You might not know where to start, or what you’re doing wrong. Read on for 10 possible reasons why you can’t get a girlfriend.

1. You don’t know where to meet women.

1. You don't know where to meet women.

You might be looking in the wrong places. Sure, you can flirt with all your female friends, but they’re probably just friends. If you’re trying to date someone seriously, look elsewhere. Go out and find where women frequent. Some examples of great places to meet women include:

Don’t think that you can only find women in these places. You might even find someone at your job! Go out and try to meet people.

2. You don’t have any confidence.

If you don’t think that you’re good enough for a girlfriend, then that might be why you can’t find one. You might start thinking that you can’t get a girlfriend because there’s something wrong with you. If that’s the case, it’s time to do some soul-searching and figure out what is different about you compared to other guys who have girlfriends.

It could be shyness or social anxiety, or low self-esteem. All this time, you might be thinking that there’s no way women would want to date someone like you. Once you recognize what the problem is, then it’s time to start fixing it!

Self-help books can be a good place to start for boosting your self-confidence. Visit the library or bookstore and pick out a few that look interesting. You might even consider meeting with a professional therapist if books don’t do the trick.

3. Fear of rejection

3. Fear of rejection

Some people are afraid to try dating because they fear being rejected. If this is your reason for not having a girlfriend, you really need to get over it. Just like with any other fear (e.g., fear of flying), the only way to defeat it is by facing it head-on!

You can’t have a girlfriend if you never try and ask women out. Take some time and think about who you’re interested in, and then go for it! Once you realize that rejection isn’t as bad as you thought, then dating will become a whole lot easier.

4. You don’t like yourself or your body

Women do like guys who like theirselves and their own bodies. If you’re insecure about your own skin, then chances are the women around you will be less interested.

Start working out and taking care of yourself! There are many ways to get in shape, including:

Build a routine of doing something physical for 30 minutes per day. You’ll have more energy and feel better about yourself too! Once you loving yourself, then it’s only a matter of time before you start attracting women.

5. You don’t dress well

5. You don't dress well

Dressing well makes you look good. If you’re wearing ill-fitting clothes or clothes that are stained and don’t fit correctly, then you aren’t going to look good. When women see guys who dress well, they know that this person takes care of themselves.

You might think that your t-shirts are cool, but keep in mind what women think about them! Think about stepping your wardrobe up a little bit. This doesn’t necessarily mean going out and buying a new wardrobe, but it means doing some simple things to improve how you look.

6. Your conversation skills are poor

You might be able to get a woman’s number, but if you can’t carry on an interesting conversation, she won’t want to go out with you. Being good-looking is one thing, but if you’re dull as dishwater, then that won’t help you any.

If your conversations are dull, then women aren’t going to want to date you. You need to learn how to become a better conversationalist! It’s not that hard. The best way is just by making conversation a priority and getting out there. Talk to people whenever you have the opportunity - it doesn’t matter who! It could be your co-workers or people at the bus stop. Start making small talk wherever you go!

7. Women think you’re creepy

7. Women think you're creepy

Even if you’re good-looking, women might still reject you if they feel like you’re creepy. Being creepy basically means that there’s something about your body language or tone of voice that makes women uncomfortable.

The best way to avoid being creepy is by sticking with positive actions. Avoid odd requests (e.g., asking for her number after five minutes of talking) and giving unnecessary compliments (e.g., “I like your eyes”). If you do want to give a compliment, make sure it’s genuine - this shows that you’re not just trying to get something from her.

Keep in mind how women react when they see someone who’s creepy! The more you can avoid doing anything that makes women uncomfortable, the better your chances of getting a girlfriend will be.

8. You have bad body odor

Every woman has her own standards for attraction. Some might be put off by your body odor. You need to understand that women place a lot of importance on hygiene - you’re no different! Attractive women don’t want to date someone who doesn’t take care of their hygiene.

It’s not too hard to make sure that you smell good. Take a shower every day (or at least every other day) and make sure you clean your private parts properly! Also, make sure you change clothes daily, including socks and underwear.

If women are rejecting you because of bad body odor, then there’s no need to feel down on yourself - just take some simple steps towards improving your hygiene.

9. You come on too strong.

9. You come on too strong.

If you come on too strong, women might find it overwhelming. This is why timing when to say certain things in a conversation is vitally important (e.g., don’t ask for her number immediately).

Even if you aren’t saying anything too forward or asking for phone numbers, coming on too strong can still be overpowering. What girls want is for you to be confident and honest about what you’re putting forward. If she doesn’t seem interested, then back off!

If you’ve come on too strong before, don’t worry - it’s not hard to avoid doing this in the future by taking a few seconds (or minutes) to think about things before speaking.

10. You’re too picky

If you’re looking for the perfect woman, then that might be why you can’t find one. Everyone has different qualities that they look for in a potential mate. If your list describes an impossible dream girl, then there’s no way you’ll ever be able to find her!

The first step is changing your unrealistic standards. No one is going to be a perfect girl, so that’s just not possible. It’s better just to ask for things that you can realistically achieve and then look for those qualities in women along the way.

If you’re having trouble getting a girlfriend, don’t lose hope. Take some time to reflect on yourself and try to identify any areas where you might need to make changes. Once you have a clear idea of what needs to be done, get started on making those changes. With some effort, you should eventually have a beautiful love life.

The truth about dating: Books you need to read

If you’re looking for advice on how to have more success when it comes to dating, then you’ll want to check out these reads. Each can teach you something different about the process, from being more confident in yourself to reading other people’s signals correctly. So whether you’re just starting or have been dating for a while and could use help, check out these titles.

  1. Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
  2. Love: The Psychology of Attraction: A Practical Guide to Successful Dating and a Happy Relationship
  3. Seriously, This Is Online Dating?: How to Love Yourself Harder and Date Smarter
  4. Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
  5. Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You F*cking Idiot
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Author picture of David Hall
Dating Expert

David Hall

David Hall is a self-taught dating expert who works as a freelance writer to help people improve their love lives. He has always been interested in dating, physical attraction, and …

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