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10 tips on how to get back with your ex

Sometimes you'll miss or love a past partner so much that you want to get back together with them. Depending on your relationship and breakup, it's not a bad idea, and it could mean that your ex could genuinely be your match and that no one could replace them hence why you want to get back!

Author picture of James Mendoza
Dating Expert James Mendoza November 15, 2023 • 5 minutes read
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Having unresolved feelings or regrets after a breakup is not uncommon. It’s only natural to want to try again with the person you once shared a deep connection with.

If you find yourself wanting to get back together with an ex, there are some things you should keep in mind. Here are 10 tips on how to get back together with your ex the right way!

1. Talk about what went wrong

1. Talk about what went wrong

It’s important to talk about what led to the breakup in the first place. This conversation will help you overcome any resentment and reconsider why you broke up in the first place.

If you cannot have this conversation without getting upset, it may be best to wait until you’re both emotionally in a better place. On the other hand, pulling through a conversation like this can lay a better foundation for your budding relationship.

2. Try couples therapy

Often, relationship problems can be addressed with the help of a professional. If you’re both open to it, going to couples therapy can give you the tools you need to work through your issues.

It can shine a light on recurring issues that never seem to die down. It can even give you a better perspective on each other’s preferences. So you know how to go about the relationship.

3. Spend time apart

3. Spend time apart

Sometimes, distance can make the heart grow fonder. If you’re both able to take some time apart, it may help you to appreciate each other more.

Additionally, spending time alone can help you grow as an individual. This can make you a better partner and help the relationship to be more successful in the long run.

4. Make an effort

You must show your ex that you’re willing to make things work to get back together. This means putting in the effort to rebuild trust and showing them that you’re committed to the relationship.

Try being more honest, more caring, and more mindful than you were before. Picking up on the areas where you slacked off helps. Once they see an improvement, they are more likely to be open and trusting for another relationship with you.

5. Be patient

5. Be patient

Getting back together with an ex can take time. Being patient and focusing on rebuilding the relationship one step at a time is essential. Just because you already have some history together doesn’t mean you can pick up where you left off.

It would be hard to do that since it seems you’re skipping out on unresolved issues. Get to know them again deeper and slower this time. Sometimes, it’s good to restart and take your bonding with them more mindfully than how it was last time.

6. Don’t force it

Trying to force a reconciliation is likely only to make things worse. If you’re finding that you’re both resistant to the idea of getting back together, it may not be meant to be.

Forcing them to get back with each other will possibly ruin what little bond you have left. Give each other time and space to reconsider!

7. Respect each other’s space

7. Respect each other's space

Even if you’re both interested in getting back together, respecting each other’s space is important. This means giving each other the time and space to work through any lingering feelings or issues.

8. Don’t play games

It’s always best to be honest and upfront about your feelings. Avoid playing games or manipulating the situation, as this will only worsen things. When getting back together with an ex, your only intention should be wanting to be with them in peace and joy.

You love their company so much, that you want to get back together, right? Then show it! Prove to them and yourself that that is all you want.

9. Have a trial period

9. Have a trial period

Having a trial period helps establish key aspects of the relationship you’re trying to fix. A trial period can mean you have time to discuss boundaries, rules, love languages, and needs. A trial period can act as a safety net for both of you. Before things get serious, going through one makes compromising with each other easier.

Before taking any steps, asking yourself why you want to get back together is important. It may be helpful to write out your reasons. Once you know your goals, you can better assess whether getting back together is a good idea.

Getting back together with an ex can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. You increase your chances of success by taking the time to assess your situation, communicating openly, and making an effort. Good luck!

Must-read books about exes

Exes can be a touchy subject. Whether you’re still hung up on them, or you’ve moved on, they’re often a topic that’s hard to avoid. If you’re in the former or latter camp, these books about exes might be for you. These titles explore everything from what it’s like to be dumped to how to deal with an ex who won’t go away.

  1. Flirting: How to Flirt for Women Wanting to Date a High-Value Man, Including Seductive Body Language Techniques and a Guide to Get Your Ex Back
  2. Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex
  3. Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating
  4. The Friends With Benefits Rulebook: How to Get in, Get Laid, and Get Out With Dignity (and Even a Relationship)
  5. She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
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Author picture of James Mendoza
Dating Expert

James Mendoza

James Mendoza is a freelance writer who specializes in writing about relationships, marriage, and living happily as a single. After getting through two divorces and being cheated …

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