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We’ve probably all been there: Finally, there’s the opportunity to talk to your crush. You already loosen your vocal cords and open your mouth, but as soon as you want to speak, you just don’t know what to say or how to say it. You begin to sweat out of nervousness and turn red like a tomato.
It’s horrible. But don’t worry, because we’re here to help. Finding the right words to say can be tricky. And knowing what to say can even be harder! That’s why we’ve collected the best tips on this topic in this article to help you finally talk to your crush!
Here are the best tips on how to talk to your crush:
1. Calm down
You’re not about to talk to the president or give a life-saving speech, so calm down! Take a few deep breaths and try to relax. This will help you think more clearly and find the right words to say.
Just think of it as a normal conversation and not something that will determine the rest of your life. See your crush as an equal, and don’t put them on a pedestal. They’re just a human. Or do you get nervous when you need to talk to the waiter in a restaurant? Thought so.
2. Introduce yourself
If your crush doesn’t already know who you are, it’s time to introduce yourself! Go up to them and say hi. You can also say your name and ask if they mind if you talk for a bit.
This is a great way to start a conversation because it shows that you’re confident and not afraid to talk to them. If your crush already knows who you are, you can skip this step.
3. Be yourself
You’ve heard this tip time and time again, but it still holds true. Being yourself is always the best policy. Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to impress your crush. Don’t act cool, don’t act as if you couldn’t care less. They’ll see right through it, and it’s just not worth it in the long run.
When you’re nervous, it’s okay to show it. When you like them, tell them with a smile. Just be the human being you are and not an actor. You’re perfectly fine the way you are, so don’t be someone else!
4. Think before you speak
Nerves can make us say things we don’t mean or blurt out something embarrassing. To avoid this, it’s best to think about what you want to say before you actually say it.
This doesn’t mean you should have a script in your head – which you’ll definitely forget as soon as you have to talk to them, by the way – but just a general idea of the topics you could talk about.
If you want to know how their weekend was, just ask. If you want to spend some time with your crush, ask for a date, like, “Wanna go grab a coffee sometime?”
If you need help, here are amazing things you can say to your crush!
5. The three-second rule
There’s a magical time gap between thinking of an act and doing this act. So, when you feel like you want to talk to your crush, do it right away. Don’t wait. Because waiting just makes the following thing happen: your nervousness will make you ponder until you argue yourself out of talking to them!
You don’t want that to happen! Sometimes just jumping into cold water is smarter than thinking of all the wrong things that could happen if something goes wrong. Spoiler alert: almost never something goes wrong. So don’t wait, act!
6. They might be just as nervous
Your crush is probably just as nervous about talking to you as you are about talking to them. So don’t worry, they’re in the same boat as you! It might be even harder for them because they might not know what to say either.
The best way to find out is just by talking to them. Start with a simple “Hi, how are you?” and see where the conversation goes from there. If they seem just as nervous as you, then you can relax a bit and enjoy the conversation more.
Because being nervous just means that something is important to you. And if talking to your crush is important to you, then that’s a good thing!
7. Compliment them
Everyone likes compliments! So start the conversation by giving your crush a genuine one. It could be something about their outfit, their hair, or even just a general compliment like, “You’re always so friendly!”
Just make sure it’s something you really mean and not just an empty compliment to try and flatter them. They’ll see right through it. And who knows, maybe they’ll give you a compliment back!
8. Find common ground
If you don’t know already, find out what your crush likes and talk about it with them. It could be a TV show, a movie, a book, a video game, or anything else, really.
You don’t need to have the same interests, but it’s always nice to find something you can bond over. And even if you don’t find anything, that’s okay too! You can just talk about your different interests and learn new things.
9. Ask questions
Asking questions is a great way to keep the conversation going and to get to know your crush better. But make sure you don’t ask too many at once! That will just make things awkward.
A good rule of thumb is to ask follow-up questions on the topic you’re talking about. So, if you asked them about their favorite sport and they say “volleyball”, don’t make the next question be about what they like to eat. Ask why they like said sport, if they play it themself, etc.
Just keep the conversation flowing, and things will be fine. Don’t turn it into an interview!
10. In doubt, small talk
When you don’t know anything substantial to talk about, just make some small talk. It’s the easiest way to fill any awkward silence, and it’s not as difficult as it might seem.
Small talk is just making conversation about everyday things. So, you could talk about the weather, your weekend plans, or what you’re going to do after school/work.
Just find something to say and go from there. Keep the last tip in mind and ask follow-up questions or delve deeper into a topic. That way, more meaningful conversation can bloom by itself!
11. End on a high note
When you feel like the conversation is coming to an end, try to end it on a high note. That way, your crush will leave the conversation feeling good and wanting more.
You can do this by saying something like, “It was great talking to you; we should do this again sometime!” or “I had a really great time talking to you; I’m looking forward to seeing you again.”
Just make sure you sound sincere and not like you’re trying too hard. If you are, they’ll be able to tell, and it might have the opposite effect.
12. Ask for a date
If you want to, you can always ask your crush out on a date! Just be confident and go for it. The worst they can say is no, and then you can move on.
But if they say yes, then you’re in for a great time! Just make sure you plan something that you’ll both enjoy and have a great time together.
If you need some ideas and tips, we have some great articles about dates, too! Go check them out!
If your crush is a girl, you should definitely check out this guide on how to win a girl’s heart!
These are our tips on how to talk to your crush. Just remember to be yourself, relax, and have fun! We hope you’ll have a great conversation.
If you want more advice on dating and relationships in general, check out our other articles: Dating and relationship advice!
The truth about dating: Books you need to read
If you’re looking for advice on how to have more success when it comes to dating, then you’ll want to check out these reads. Each can teach you something different about the process, from being more confident in yourself to reading other people’s signals correctly. So whether you’re just starting or have been dating for a while and could use help, check out these titles.
- Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
- Love: The Psychology of Attraction: A Practical Guide to Successful Dating and a Happy Relationship
- Seriously, This Is Online Dating?: How to Love Yourself Harder and Date Smarter
- Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
- Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You F*cking Idiot