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Every couple has had one of them: a first date. Feared by many, desired by others, the first date is often full of uncertainty. What should I wear? Where should we go? Will there be a second date? And most importantly: How do I act on a first date?
There are a few things to keep in mind when it comes to how to act on a first date. We’ve collected a list full of tips that will help you cruise through that first date and hopefully guarantee a second.
1. Always be yourself
You’ve probably heard this tip a million times before and are rolling your eyes right now. But it still is probably the best tip on how to act on a first date. Just be yourself! Don’t try to be someone you’re not. It’s okay to be nervous, and it’s okay to let your date know that you’re nervous.
Trying to put up a front is exhausting and, ultimately, pointless. If things work out, great! If not, at least you know that it wasn’t meant to be.
Just stay true to your beliefs, opinions, and, most importantly, personality.
2. Being nervous is okay
Most people get nervous on first dates, and that’s totally fine! First dates can be nerve-wracking, especially if you think the person you’re going out with is super cute and you want to make a good impression. You don’t want to do or say the wrong thing and turn them off, but at the same time, you don’t want to seem boring or uninterested.
Take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that this is just a date, not a job interview or a test. You’re here to get to know each other and have fun!
3. Dress to impress
When it comes to what to wear on a first date, always dress to impress … yourself! This means wearing something that you feel comfortable and confident in. If you’re not comfortable in heels, don’t wear them!
If you love your curves, show them off with a figure-hugging dress. The most important thing is that you feel good about what you’re wearing.
Your date will take cues from your outfit and demeanor, so if you’re feeling good, they’ll probably feel good too.
4. Make sure you’re both on the same page
Before the date even begins, it’s important to make sure you’re both on the same page. This means having a superficial conversation beforehand about what each of you is looking for in terms of dating.
This doesn’t have to be a super serious conversation, but it’s important to make sure you’re both on the same page so that there are no surprises later on. Just imagine they want to find the one to make babies with, and you just wanna have some fun; things could get weird real quick.
5. Don’t overthink things
Try not to overthink things too much on your first date. Yes, you want to make a good impression, but that doesn’t mean you should spend the whole date worrying about what you’re saying or whether you’re saying too much. Just relax and go with the flow!
Overthinkers tend to overanalyze every little detail, which can actually end up working against them. If you’re too busy thinking about what to say next or worrying about how you’re being perceived, you’re not going to be present in the moment, and you’re not going to have as much fun.
6. Make conversation
One of the most important things on a first date is to make conversation. You want to get to know each other, after all. But that doesn’t mean you have to sit there and ask each other a million questions.
Just relax and let the conversation flow naturally. If there are lulls in the conversation, don’t be afraid to fill them with small talk. And if you’re feeling really bold, you can even make a few jokes! Just remember to keep it light and avoid controversial topics.
7. Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself
One of the most common fears people have on first dates is saying too much about themselves. They think they’ll come off as being self-centered or egotistical if they talk about themselves too much. But the truth is, your date wants to get to know you!
So don’t be afraid to talk about yourself. Share your hobbies, your interests, and your passions. If you’re feeling really brave, you can even tell them a few stories about your life. Just remember to keep it interesting and avoid talking about yourself the whole time.
But don’t forget to let them be in the spotlight too!
8. Talk about things you’re passionate about
When the conversation starts flowing, make sure to steer it towards topics that you’re passionate about. This is a great way to get to know each other and find out if you have anything in common. It’s also a great opportunity to show off your personality and make your date laugh.
Just be careful not to go too deep into topics that might be a little too heavy for a first date, like exes or your views on religion. Stick to lighter topics that will help you get to know each other better.
9. Don’t act cool
One of the biggest mistakes people make on first dates is trying to act cool. This usually comes off as being aloof or disinterested, neither of which are attractive qualities. So instead of trying to play it cool, just be yourself!
Putting on an act is seldom a good idea. Especially since most people can see behind the facade pretty easily, so instead of trying to be someone you’re not, just be yourself. Show that you’re just a human being with thoughts and feelings like them. Your date will appreciate it, and you’ll have a lot more fun in the process.
10. Have fun!
At the end of the day, the most important thing is to have fun! If you’re not having fun, then what’s the point? Just relax and enjoy yourself. The more fun you have, the more likely it is that your date will have fun too.
And who knows? Maybe, you’ll even hit the first base? You don’t know what bases in dating are? Find out what bases are in dating!
And if things don’t work out? Well, at least you had a good time!
Frequently asked questions about how to act on a first date
Are you still trying to figure out how to act on a first date? Well, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with trying to find the perfect balance between being themselves and making a good impression.
Here are some frequently asked questions about how to act on a first date:
1. Who should pay?
That’s a great question! But there is no right or wrong answer to this question. First, it really depends on your culture but also on who you two are.
If you feel comfortable paying, then go ahead. But if you’d rather split the bill or have your date pay, that’s perfectly fine too.
Just remember to be considerate and respectful of your date’s wishes. If they offer to pay, don’t insist on paying yourself. And if you do end up paying, don’t make a big deal out of it.
2. What if there’s no chemistry?
This is a possibility that can occur more often than not. But it doesn’t mean that the date is necessarily a bust. Just because you don’t feel an instant connection with someone doesn’t mean that you can’t have a good time.
There’s always a chance that the chemistry will develop over time or that you two will become good friends. So don’t write someone off just because you don’t feel a spark right away. Just relax and enjoy getting to know them.
3. What if I’m not ready for a relationship?
That’s perfectly okay! Not everyone is ready for a relationship at the same time. And that’s perfectly normal.
If you’re not ready for a relationship, just be honest with your date and let them know. They’ll appreciate your honesty, and if they’re worth it, they’ll be willing to wait for you.
But if you’re not interested in a relationship with them, it’s probably best to end things now. There’s no point in leading them on and getting their hopes up if you know that it’s not going to work out.
4. How to get a second date?
After a great first date, a second date will follow! The more fun you have, the more likely it is that your date will have fun too. And if they had a good time, they’ll be more likely to want to see you again.
Just relax and enjoy yourself. If things go well, a second date will happen naturally. But if you’re not sure, just ask! There’s nothing wrong with being direct and asking for what you want.
5. Should I kiss on the first date?
There is no right or wrong answer to this question. First, it really depends on your culture but also on who you two are. If you feel comfortable kissing, then go ahead. But if you’d rather not, that’s perfectly fine too.
Just remember to be considerate and respectful of your date’s wishes. If they don’t want to kiss, don’t insist on it. And if you do end up kissing, congratulations!
You just had a great first date.
We hope this article was helpful. Remember, the most important thing is to relax and have fun! It’s just a first date, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Just enjoy getting to know someone new. And who knows, maybe you’ll end up having a great time!
How to win at early stages dating: The ultimate list of books
If you're looking for books about the early stages of dating, you've come to the right place. We've put together a list of some of our favorite books about dating, all of which are perfect for early stages in a relationship.
- Dating Sucks, but You Don't: The Modern Guy's Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner
- Seven Secrets of Modern Dating: The He Said, She Said Guide for Getting from Single to Spouse
- First Date Mastery: The Complete First Date Psychology Guide For Men
- Just Send the Text: An Expert's Guide to Letting Go of the Stress and Anxiety of Modern Dating