PumPum app icon
Coupled by PumPum ® Spice up your dating life

16 essential second date tips everybody needs to know!

Got a second date ahead? Don't be anxious; our tips will help you make your second date a success!

Author picture of David Hall
Dating Expert David Hall September 27, 2022 • 8 minutes read
On this page

So, you’ve met this attractive woman or sexy man, had your first date with that person, and it went great. But what now? After the first date, there is always an anxious wait for the second date. It can be a make-or-break situation, so it is important to make sure that everything goes well.

But we’re here to help! With these breathtaking tips, your second date will be a success that leads to even more amazing dates to come!

1. Plan something different

1. Plan something different

If you had a great time doing something simple the first time around, try switching it up for the second date. This will keep things interesting and make sure that you’re not just doing the same old thing.

So, if your first date was something like a coffee table conversation, why not try a museum visit or a walk in the park? If you’re both active people, go for a hike or take a bike ride.

2. Set the mood

Create an ambiance that will make your date feel special. This can be something as simple as lighting candles or playing soft music. If you want to go the extra mile, you can cook a meal or prepare a picnic. Whatever you do, make sure it sets the mood for a romantic evening.

But don’t overdo it. Remember: this is just the second date. You don’t want to come on too strong and scare your date away!

3. Be a good listener

Make sure to really listen to your date when they’re speaking. This will show that you’re interested in them and what they have to say. It’s also a great opportunity to learn more about them.

Suppose your date was still a bit hesitant about what to share with you on the first date; they might now share much more important things about themself.

But you can’t just listen; you also got to talk! You don’t know what to talk about on a second date? Here’s what!

4. Ask thoughtful questions

4. Ask thoughtful questions

Asking your date thoughtful questions is a great way to show that you’re interested in them as a person. It’s also an opportunity to get to know them better.

To come up with good questions, think about things you still want to know about them after the first date. What were their hobbies? What are their goals in life? What’s their favorite food?

5. Ask open-ended questions

To keep the conversation flowing, ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ’no.’ This will encourage your date to talk more and give you a chance to learn more about them.

Some examples of open-ended questions are: ‘What was the best thing about your day?’ or ‘What’s something you’re passionate about?’

6. Compliment your date

Let your date know what you appreciate about them. Whether it’s their sense of humor, their intelligence, or their smile, a genuine compliment will go a long way.

Just make sure to avoid empty flattery, like telling your date they’re the ‘most beautiful person you’ve ever seen.’ Not only is this not very sincere, but it can also come across as creepy and superficial

7. Be yourself

7. Be yourself

This is probably the most important tip of all. If you try to be someone that you’re not, it will be difficult to keep up the act for very long. Sooner or later, your date will see through it.

And even if they don’t, you’re not going to be happy pretending to be someone else. It’s much better to just be yourself from the start. Then, you can find someone who likes you for who you are.

8. Spice it up

If you’re feeling adventurous, add a little bit of spice to your date. This could mean anything from playful banter to a more intimate moment.

But make sure that you do this at the right time and in the right way. You don’t want your date to feel like they’re being assaulted with innuendos and sexual tension!

9. Have fun

Above all, make sure you’re both having a good time. If you’re not enjoying yourself, it’s likely that your date isn’t either. So relax, be present in the moment, and let things flow naturally.

If you do this, the second date will be a success no matter what else happens.

10. Don’t be afraid to get a little vulnerable

10. Don't be afraid to get a little vulnerable

Sharing your vulnerabilities can help create a stronger connection with your date. It also shows that you trust them and that you’re willing to be open and honest with them.

But make sure that you only share what you’re comfortable sharing. There’s no need to go into too much detail about your past relationships or your deepest fears.

11. Awkward silence? Don’t panic

If there’s an awkward silence, don’t panic! It’s perfectly natural for there to be moments where neither of you knows what to say. You’re probably wondering if you’ve already asked them this or that important question.

Instead of feeling anxious, use the opportunity to take a break from all the talking. Just take a deep breath and relax. Maybe you can just enjoy each other’s company for a minute or two.

There are plenty of things to talk about, so don’t worry if the conversation dries up for a bit. Or you can ask them an open-ended question to get the conversation flowing again.

12. Be prepared for anything

The second date is your chance to really see if this is someone you could see yourself dating long-term. So be prepared for anything! This means being ready for both good and bad moments.

If things are going well, enjoy it! But also be prepared for things not to go as planned. Maybe your date has to cancel at the last minute, or they turn out to be someone completely different than you expected.

In any case, try to stay calm and roll with the punches. It’s all part of the dating process!

13. Try to create romantic attraction

13. Try to create romantic attraction

If you feel like this person is relationship material, don’t stumble into the friend zone! Try to create romantic attraction by flirting and complimenting your date.

This doesn’t mean that you should try to sleep with them on the second date. But it does mean that you should show your interest in more than just a platonic way.

Touch, for example, is a great way to create romantic attraction. You can touch them lightly on the arm or shoulder when you’re talking to them. Or you could give them a quick hug when you meet up.

14. Don’t forget about body language

Your body language says a lot about how you’re feeling. So make sure that you’re sending the right signals to your date.

If you’re interested in them, lean in when you talk and maintain eye contact. You could also try playing with your hair or crossing your legs towards them.

If you’re not interested, on the other hand, you might find yourself crossing your arms or legs away from them. You might also avoid eye contact and have a hard time keeping up with the conversation.

15. Take things slow

The second date is not the time to rush things. There’s no need to put pressure on yourself or your date to take things to the next level. Just enjoy getting to know them better and seeing where things go.

This doesn’t mean that you should avoid talking about important topics, like your future plans or what you’re looking for in a relationship. But try to take things slow and let the conversation flow naturally.

16. Don’t forget to follow up

16. Don't forget to follow up

Make sure you follow up after the date. This could be anything from sending a text message to arranging another date. You don’t know what the ideal time between the second and the third date is? Here’s the answer!

But whatever you do, don’t leave your date hanging! They’ll appreciate knowing that you had a good time and that you’re interested in seeing them again. Otherwise, it could seem like you’re just playing games.

That’s it! With these tips, you’ll be ready to have a great second date. Just relax and enjoy getting to know your date better. Take things slow: love is no sprint; it’s a marathon.

Good luck!

How to win at early stages dating: The ultimate list of books

If you're looking for books about the early stages of dating, you've come to the right place. We've put together a list of some of our favorite books about dating, all of which are perfect for early stages in a relationship.

  1. Dating Sucks, but You Don't: The Modern Guy's Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner
  2. Seven Secrets of Modern Dating: The He Said, She Said Guide for Getting from Single to Spouse
  3. First Date Mastery: The Complete First Date Psychology Guide For Men
  4. Just Send the Text: An Expert's Guide to Letting Go of the Stress and Anxiety of Modern Dating
Share this article: Facebook Pinterest WhatsApp Twitter
Share this article:
Author picture of David Hall
Dating Expert

David Hall

David Hall is a self-taught dating expert who works as a freelance writer to help people improve their love lives. He has always been interested in dating, physical attraction, and …

Read full bio

More articles you might like

People who are reading “16 essential second date tips everybody needs to know!” are also reading these articles:

Browse all articles