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Kiss on the First Date? Your Guide to Making the Call

First dates are seldom easy; especially when it comes to kissing. But with these tips, you'll find out everything you need to know!

Author picture of David Hall
Dating Expert David Hall September 27, 2022 • 6 minutes read
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First dates: everybody dreads them, and everybody is always nervous about them. Sweaty palms, dry mouth, and a sick feeling in their stomach.

But we probably all agree on it that first dates are a necessary evil. You can’t just text or talk on the phone forever; eventually, you have to meet in person. And that’s where the real fun begins!

There are a lot of things to consider on a first date. What should you wear on a first date? Where should you go? Who should pay? But one of the most important questions is: should you kiss on the first date? And if so, how should I do it?

There are many different opinions on this matter. But today, we’ll discuss the pros and cons of kissing on the first date. We’ll look at both sides of the argument and try to determine which option is best for you.

So, let’s get started!

1. No rule says you have to kiss on the first date

A couple on a first date, looking relaxed and happy, not pressured to kiss.

Don’t put yourself under pressure: there is no rule that says you have to kiss on your first date with someone. Some people prefer to take things slow and wait until they are really comfortable before locking lips with someone new. This allows them to get to know their date and build a real connection before jumping into something physical.

There are a few reasons why this might be the best option for you. First, if you’re not sure about your date, it’s probably best to take things slow. This way, you don’t have to worry about getting too attached too quickly or moving too fast for comfort.

Second, if you’re not sure about the chemistry between you and your date, you can use the first date as an opportunity to get to know each other better. Kissing too soon might cloud your judgment, making it more difficult for you to figure out if this person is really right for you.

2. But also, no rule says you can’t kiss on the first date

On the other hand, there’s also no rule that says you can’t kiss on the first date. Some people prefer to take a more spontaneous approach and just go with their gut instinct when it comes to physical intimacy. If they feel like kissing their date, then they’ll do it – no questions asked.

There are a few reasons why this might be the best option for you. First, if you’re really attracted to your date, it might be hard to resist the urge to kiss them. If you want to kiss them, then go ahead and do it!

Second, if you’re feeling confident and comfortable with your date, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t go for it. read their body language and cues first so you don’t make them feel uncomfortable

3. It all depends on what you’re looking for

A person contemplating different relationship paths, symbolizing various dating goals.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to what you’re looking for in a relationship. If you’re looking for something serious and long-term, then maybe kissing on the first date isn’t the best idea.

However, if you’re just looking to have some fun or explore your sexuality, then kissing might be a great way to do that.

But it’s best to be honest about what you’re looking for and communicate that clearly with your date. That way, you can both decide what the right course of action is – and hopefully have a great time doing it!

4. Only do it if there’s a spark

If there’s a spark, then go for it! kissing is probably a good idea

However, if you don’t feel that same connection, then maybe it’s best to hold off on the physical stuff. Remember, it’s totally okay to take things slow and only kiss someone when you really want to!

5. You don’t want to feel like you’ve wasted your time

A frustrated person looking at a clock, feeling like their time has been wasted on a bad date.

This tip goes in both directions: you don’t want to feel like you’ve wasted your time if you kiss on the first date, and you also don’t want to feel like you’ve missed out on something special if you don’t.

So, in short: when it comes to kissing on the first date, there is no right or wrong answer. It all depends on who you are, who your date is, and if there seems to be a connection between the two of you.

Because when you belong to the people who like things fast and spicy, why should you wait to kiss your date, just because some people claim you shouldn’t kiss on the first date? Kissing someone you like is always a good idea, so go for it! Just remember to be respectful and considerate of your date’s feelings in the process.

In the end, the best thing to do is just go with your gut and see what feels right for you. If you’re not sure about things, then don’t feel pressured to kiss – or not to kiss! Just take your time and see what happens.

6. Don’t expect a second date

Don’t just kiss them because you’re hoping they’ll ask you out again. If you’re kissing someone just to get them to ask you on a second date, then it might backfire and make your date feel uncomfortable or pressured.

Instead, if you want a second date, try focusing on building a deeper connection and sharing more of yourself with your date. By showing that you’re interested in more than just physical intimacy, you might be able to build trust and a real relationship with them.

7. The golden rule

Two people holding hands, illustrating the importance of mutual respect and consent in dating.

No matter what you do, follow this golden rule: leave them wanting more! Whether you decide to kiss on the first date or not, always be sure to leave your date feeling satisfied and happy, so they definitely want a second date with you. Want to find out what to text after the first date? Here’s the answer!

Of course, this can be tricky, but with good communication and a little bit of practice, you can definitely master the art of leaving someone wanting more.

So go ahead and enjoy your date – with or without a kiss! Just remember to be confident, have fun, and do what feels right for you.

Good luck!


How to win at early stages dating: The ultimate list of books

If you're looking for books about the early stages of dating, you've come to the right place. We've put together a list of some of our favorite books about dating, all of which are perfect for early stages in a relationship.

  1. Dating Sucks, but You Don't: The Modern Guy's Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner
  2. Seven Secrets of Modern Dating: The He Said, She Said Guide for Getting from Single to Spouse
  3. First Date Mastery: The Complete First Date Psychology Guide For Men
  4. Just Send the Text: An Expert's Guide to Letting Go of the Stress and Anxiety of Modern Dating

Frequently asked questions

Should I kiss on the first date?

There's no universal rule, so trust your instincts. If you feel a genuine spark and both you and your date seem comfortable and interested, then go for it! The most important thing is to ensure it feels right for both of you in the moment.

What if I don't feel like kissing on the first date?

That's perfectly fine! There's absolutely no pressure to kiss if you're not feeling it. Taking things slow allows you to build a deeper connection and really get to know the person before any physical intimacy. Prioritize your comfort and what feels authentic to you.

How do I know if my date wants to kiss me?

Pay close attention to their body language and subtle cues. Are they leaning in, making prolonged eye contact, or finding reasons to touch your arm? If you're still unsure, a good rule of thumb is to create a moment of closeness and see how they respond before making a move.

Will kissing on the first date ruin my chances for a serious relationship?

Not necessarily. Whether or not you kiss on the first date doesn't dictate the future of a relationship. What truly matters is being honest about your intentions and ensuring both parties are on the same page about what they're looking for. A kiss can be a natural expression of connection, regardless of your long-term goals.

Why shouldn't I kiss just to get a second date?

Kissing solely with the expectation of securing a second date can come across as disingenuous and may make your date feel pressured or used. Focus on building genuine rapport and connection; that's what truly encourages someone to want to see you again, not a forced kiss.

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Author picture of David Hall
Dating Expert

David Hall

David Hall is a self-taught dating expert who works as a freelance writer to help people improve their love lives. He has always been interested in dating, physical attraction, and …

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