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No one knows the internal machinations of the human heart quite like an ex. They know all of your little quirks and which buttons to push. They also know how to hurt you the most. So, when they start behaving in a certain way, it’s easy to read into things and think they might want you back. But is that really what’s going on?
Whether they’re missing you or have already moved on, it can be tough to tell your ex’s true feelings. If you’re wondering whether your ex is still hung up and waiting for you, here are thirteen telltale signs to look out for.
1. They keep tabs on you
One of the surest signs that your ex is waiting for you is if they keep tabs on you. Maybe they check up on you through mutual friends or keep tabs on your social media accounts. Or their actions might be more subtle. They might “accidentally” bump into you at a party or show up at places you frequent.
Whatever the case, if your ex is keeping tabs on you, it’s a sign that they’re still interested in you. After all, why would someone bother to keep track of your comings and goings if they didn’t care about you?
2. They make an effort to stay in touch
Another obvious sign that your ex is not ready to let you go is when they do their best to keep in contact with you. Doing things like texting, calling, or emailing you on a regular basis are all things that fall into this category.
On some occasions, your ex might even go so far as to send you gifts or set up joint activities with you and mutual friends. With all of this attention, it’s not a stretch to say that they’re probably hoping to rekindle things between you.
3. They start doing activities that you like
When you were together, did you always drag your ex to the art museum even though they hated it? Or maybe they never liked hiking with you, but now they’re suddenly all about it? It could be that your ex is trying to do things they know you like to win you back.
After all, one of the best ways to reach someone’s heart is through their interests. So, if they’re trying to do things you’re into, it’s probably because they want to get back together with you.
4. They stay in contact with your friends and family
Being on good terms with your friends and family is important to most people in romantic relationships, but it can take on a new meaning when trying to win someone back. In this case, it’s a way for your ex to stay in your life and keep you from moving on.
Your ex might even ask your friends and family for information about you or try to get them on their side. When this happens, it’s a sign that they’re hoping to restart your relationship and are using your loved ones to make it happen.
5. They remain single
In some cases, your ex might decide to stay single after the two of you break up. By showing you that they’re not interested in dating anyone else, they might be trying to convey that you’re the only one for them. Additionally, remaining single allows them to talk to you about getting back together without seeming pushy or desperate.
Of course, this isn’t always true. Some people are just naturally single, which has nothing to do with their feelings for you. But if your ex is usually in a relationship and they suddenly decide to stay single after your breakup, it could be a sign that they want to get back together with you.
6. They are impulsive
When people think with their heart instead of their head, they tend to act on impulse. Your ex might start calling you or showing up at your house without any warning. Or they might make grand gestures like buying you a gift or asking you on a trip.
These things might seem romantic, but they’re actually signs that your ex is acting impulsively and not being rational about their feelings for you.
7. They start taking care of themselves better
Have you noticed that your ex has been dressing nicer or taking better care of their appearance lately? Maybe they’re also learning a new skill or language or working on improving themselves in some way.
This sudden change in behavior is often a sign that your ex is trying to make themselves more attractive to you. After all, if they want to win you back, they need to look their best.
8. They often bring up the past
When your ex constantly talks about the good times you had together, it’s a sign that they’re hoping to patch things up with you. Reminiscing through old photos on social media or telling stories about the two of you is their way of showing you that they’re still thinking about you and they want to get back together.
You may also notice that they also start wanting to do things you used to do together. This is their way of recreating the past and making you fall in love with them all over again.
9. They always make themselves available to you
Wondering why your ex is always available to hang out or talk on the phone? It’s because they’re hoping to be able to mend things with you. By making themselves available, they’re giving you the opportunity to reconnect and rekindle your relationship.
Additionally, they might start canceling plans with other people or blowing off commitments to spend more time with you. No matter how busy they are, they’ll always find time for you because you’re their top priority.
10. Their friends and family start asking about you
When your ex’s friends and family start asking about you, it’s a sign that your ex is waiting to get back together with you. Your ex might’ve told them how much they miss you and how much they want you to be together with them again.
You might also hear from their friends and loved ones how unhappy your ex has been since the breakup, and they’re hoping that getting back together with you will make them happy again.
11. They are always around when you need them
Whether you’re going through a tough time or you need someone to talk to, you can always count on your ex to be there for you. They might not be your boyfriend or girlfriend anymore, but they still care about you, and they want to help you in any way they can.
This is their way of showing you that they still care about you and want to be there for you, even if you’re not together.
12. They compliment you a lot
Your ex might compliment you more often, whether it’s about your looks or your personality. They might also start doing nice things for you, like offering to drive you to your work or buying your groceries.
While these things might seem innocent, they’re your ex’s way of trying to make you fall in love with them again. They’re hoping that by making you feel good, you’ll start to have positive feelings for them again.
13. They start talking about your future together
Jokes about getting married or having kids are one thing, but if your ex starts talking about your future together seriously, it’s a sign that they’re hoping to get back together with you. They might say things like, “We should go on a vacation together” or “I can’t wait to meet your parents.”
By talking about your future, they’re showing you that they see you in their life long-term. And, they’re hoping that by doing so, you’ll start to see them in your future as well and want to make those dreams a reality.
Interpreting your ex’s gestures and behaviors can be tricky, but if you see many of these signs, it is likely they want to pick up where you left off. Of course, the only way to know for sure is to talk to your ex directly and see what their intentions are. But if you’re looking and hoping for a reconciliation, these are all good signs that your ex is waiting for you to come back.
Must-read books about exes
Exes can be a touchy subject. Whether you’re still hung up on them, or you’ve moved on, they’re often a topic that’s hard to avoid. If you’re in the former or latter camp, these books about exes might be for you. These titles explore everything from what it’s like to be dumped to how to deal with an ex who won’t go away.
- Flirting: How to Flirt for Women Wanting to Date a High-Value Man, Including Seductive Body Language Techniques and a Guide to Get Your Ex Back
- Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex
- Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating
- The Friends With Benefits Rulebook: How to Get in, Get Laid, and Get Out With Dignity (and Even a Relationship)
- She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman