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What is a unicorn in dating? Everything you need to know!

Unicorns may be just fairy tale creatures to some, but in dating, a unicorn is something completely different. This article will tell you everything there is to know about what a unicorn in dating is, how you find one and why you may need one or not. Let the unicorn hunting begin!

Author picture of Janet Smith
Dating Expert Janet Smith November 15, 2023 • 7 minutes read
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Have you ever heard of a couple looking for a unicorn? What may sound ridiculous at first will suddenly make a lot of sense as soon as you’ve read this article. Because what you have witnessed back then is actually just a hot couple unicorn hunting, which is incredibly popular online.

Continue reading to find out more. This article will enlighten you on why lots of married couples are looking for a unicorn to spice up their relationship.

1. What is a unicorn in the dating world?

1. What is a unicorn in the dating world?

If you ever stumbled upon the term “unicorn” in dating, you definitely scratched your head at first. But it is actually quite easy to explain what a unicorn in the dating world is. If you’re in an open or polyamorous relationship, you may even be on the lookout for a unicorn already, if you know it or not.

In dating, the term unicorn refers to a person who is ready to join an existing relationship. This will become a romantic partner who will sleep with both members of the initial connection and get romantically involved with both of them.

A “unicorn relationship” is generally defined as a polyamorous love triangle made up of two women and a man; so, the most common unicorns are bisexual women.

But don’t have the misconception that all unicorns are bisexual women; everybody can be a unicorn! It doesn’t matter what gender the unicorn is. It’s all about experiencing a relationship with more than two people simultaneously.

To sum it up, unicorns are people of any gender and sexual orientation who join monogamous relationships. They not only add some excitement to their sex life by becoming part of a love triangle; they are an equal part of this relationship.

2. Why is it called a unicorn?

2. Why is it called a unicorn?

The unicorn’s origin in dating is a bit different than the etymology of the original unicorn. It’s actually a quite simple reason: We call it a unicorn in dating, because of how difficult it is to come across one.

In real life, unicorns have always been just a myth. And in dating, a unicorn is almost as rare as if they’re not real. Because you have to understand that most people still prefer conventional monogamous relationships, meaning to have only one partner.

And a threesome, even if it has become more popular, is still a very rare thing and may only happen once. And creating a working relationship out of a threesome is like hitting the jackpot.

But fairy tales do come true sometimes.

3. Why are couples unicorn hunting?

3. Why are couples unicorn hunting?

There are plenty of good reasons why a couple wants to open up for a third person. Some couples really like threesomes, others are just looking for a third person who wants to join their romantic relationship because they don’t like conventional kinds of relationships and have love for more than one person.

So, it’s not just kinky couples who are unicorn hunting!

But sometimes the reasons are less pure, because sometimes the unicorn hunting couple isn’t looking for a person, but more for a human sex toy. They just want to spice up their relationship without thinking about the emotional cost.

4. Why is unicorn hunting bad?

4. Why is unicorn hunting bad?

Don’t get this wrong, unicorn hunting isn’t bad per se. It can be quite fulfilling, to be honest. Lots of people had great experiences with a unicorn in their relationship or being the unicorn in the relationship.

But it’s not all roses. This new couples trend doesn’t always end well. Surprisingly, unicorn hunting isn’t as casual as many people might think.

Most of the time, the couple anticipates their “unicorn” to be both sexually and romantically exclusive to them. Additionally, they demand that a unicorn is attracted to them both equally and interested in only being in bed with them at the same time.

However, the couple often does not wish to integrate the unicorn completely into their relationship. In fact, their objective – wittingly or unwittingly – is often to keep the “unicorn” at bay. The unicorn must not come between them. But that’s not how it should work!

So, like previously said, most people are just looking for a human sex toy and forget that this “toy” has feelings too.

And it happens more often than not that the original relationship suffers immensely because of the “unicorn intruder”. Sometimes, one of them will become the unicorn’s new partner while the other one is left out in the rain.

In polyamory and open relationships, especially one with more than two people involved, there will always be some imbalance of effort from all sides.

This means you have to be lucky to have a partner who is always there and active and ready to fulfill all your needs.

Because often one member of the relationship has more time and energy for their partners than the other person, which creates an imbalance that can result in jealousy and resentment. So, finding someone who meets all of the requirements is just crazily hard, hence the name unicorn.

5. How to find a unicorn

5. How to find a unicorn

As you can probably imagine, finding a unicorn is more than just difficult. Finding the perfect match is almost impossible in real life. The operative word is “almost”.

But because it’s so difficult to find a unicorn in the open, most people are actively unicorn hunting on the web.

Dating apps and websites are full of people looking for a unicorn to join their relationship. A unicorn actively seeking a couple happens a bit rarer, but it happens!

It’s not that hard to find a unicorn in general, but extremely difficult to find one that meets all the criteria. A unicorn rarely finds every person involved in the relationship equally as attractive as they find the unicorn.

As soon as you’ve met a potential unicorn, you should be honest and upfront about what you’re looking for. But don’t forget to ask the unicorn too what they want. The sooner you can talk about it, the better.

But keep in mind that there are a variety of reasons why people want to date couples. Not all unicorns are bisexual, so if you’re a mixed-sex couple, don’t assume they’ll be interested in both of you.

And if the unicorn isn’t interested in both of you, accept it and keep on unicorn hunting.

6. How to become a unicorn

6. How to become a unicorn

You’re in luck: Becoming a unicorn in dating is a lot easier than finding one as a couple. There are lots of couples out there seeking a unicorn, so you have the upper hand in that.

The best way of finding a couple as a unicorn is probably by using dating apps. And don’t have the common misconception that a unicorn can only be a bisexual woman. Everybody can be a unicorn! So don’t abandon all hope just because you’re not the stereotypical unicorn!

The trickier part of being a unicorn comes after finding your hot couple.

Because as soon as you’ve found your couple, you need to create an equal relationship between the three of you. As a unicorn, you shouldn’t be there just to be their sex toy (except if that’s exactly what you’re looking for); you’re part of this relationship as an equal.

And that can become tricky, as your couple probably already knows each other for a long time.

There can be no discrimination, nobody should get more attention than the other two. Everybody should have the same amount of power in this relationship.

And while you’re at it, don’t forget that your happiness is equally important as that of your couple’s! You should never feel like you’re compromising or losing out on something; everybody wins! That’s how a great unicorn relationship works!

More than two: The best books to help you navigate poly relationships

Polyamory is a big umbrella that encompasses a lot of relationship styles and structures. If you’re curious about polyamory or are currently exploring poly relationships, here is a comprehensive list of some of the best books on polyamory, covering everything from building healthy poly relationships to communicating effectively and jealousy management.

  1. Beyond Monogamy: Polyamory and the Future of Polyqueer Sexualities
  2. The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love
  3. A Few is the New Two: Real Stories of Non-Monogamous Relationships
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Author picture of Janet Smith
Dating Expert

Janet Smith

Janet Smith is a freelance writer who writes about psychology, relationships, and dating. She has always been interested in understanding the human brain and how it affects our …

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