PumPum app icon
Coupled by PumPum ® Spice up your dating life

12 signs he doesn't want a relationship with you

Love can be the most wonderful thing in the world. But not if it's one-sided, then it can be torturous. It seems like you'll never be able to figure out whether or not you're wasting your time on him, but if he exhibits any of the following signs, then it's very likely you are.

Dating Expert James Mendoza November 21, 2023 • 8 minutes read
On this page

Love can be the most wonderful thing in the world. But not if it’s one-sided, then it can be torturous. It seems like you’ll never be able to figure out whether or not you’re wasting your time on him, but if he exhibits any of the following signs, then it’s very likely you are.

It’s always hard to tell if someone is interested in you romantically, and it can be equally challenging to know when they’re not.

There are many signs that your partner might not be interested in continuing the relationship (or starting a relationship in the first place), but some of them may seem more obvious than others.

Here are 12 signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you:

1. He’s unreliable

If he’s flaky or unreliable in general, it may be a sign that he doesn’t want to commit to you. Even if he does specific things for you, like taking time out of his day to see you, being unreliable sends the message that other people are more important than you could ever be.

If he seemed excited when you first start seeing each other, but as time goes on, his interest level seemed to dip, it may be time to end things before they get messy.

2. He’s emotionally unavailable

If he’s not able to open up and share his feelings, it may be a sign that he doesn’t want to commit. He may appear cold and distant at times, but there are healthy ways of dealing with emotions without closing himself off from you completely.

Being in a relationship means sharing your experiences with another person. It may be just a personality quirk of his, but most of the time, if he’s unwilling to do that, it’s a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

3. He’s always busy and rarely has time for you

We all know the feeling that someone just seems to have no time at all for spending time together. That’s a big red flag because if you really like someone, you find the time.

If he’s constantly too busy to spend time with you, and if it seems like you never get to see him, it may be a sign that he doesn’t want a relationship. It’s not healthy to be around someone who makes you feel like you’re always an inconvenience.

4. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends and family

He doesn’t want a relationship with you if he doesn’t introduce you to his friends and family. When you’re involved in a long-term relationship, introducing your partner to people that are important to you is usually something that happens pretty early on.

If he has no interest in introducing you to these people, or if he’s embarrassed of you, it may be time to move on.

But it’s best to talk to him about that matter first. Some people are ashamed of their family, for example.

5. He contacts you only when it’s convenient for him

If someone only contacts you when it’s convenient for them, you’re probably not that important to them. This is a pretty common sign, and it applies to relationships of all kinds — platonic and romantic.

If your significant other always seems like they’re either too busy or not interested in talking with you, then perhaps the relationship just isn’t as meaningful to them as it is for you.

6. He seems to be only interested in your body

If he’s only ever interested in your body and nothing else, it doesn’t mean that he’s not interested in a relationship. It just means that he’s looking for a physical experience with you and sees nothing more than that. So, it depends on how superficial he is.

If this is the case, then he probably isn’t looking to date you for very long. If that’s okay with you, then go ahead and enjoy yourself as much as you can.

But if he seems really into it at first, but after time goes on his interest level drops way off, it may be a sign that he’s only with you for some fun hours and will leave you out in the rain soon.

7. He talks about other girls a lot

When a guy is talking a lot about other girls, it means that he’s thinking of them even more often. He most likely compares you to them, like he’s trying to decide if you’re better than the others.

If your boyfriend talks about other girls in front of you or with his friends when you’re not around, it may be a sign that he doesn’t want a relationship. Normally, a guy in love wants you to feel special and not like you’re one of many.

But heads up: Talking about other girls or flirting with others isn’t always a sign that someone doesn’t want to commit. But if the relationship has been going on for a little while, this is usually a sign that he’s not digging it as much as he initially did.

8. He won’t make long-term plans

If somebody’s hesitant to make long-term plans, it mostly means that this person is not sure about the relationship. But it can also mean that this person isn’t into you as much as you hoped them to be.

For example, he states he wants to get married or have kids in the future, but he never says he wants all of that with you.

If your boyfriend is unwilling to make long-term plans with you (e.g. move in together), it may be a sign that he doesn’t want a relationship at all.

It always depends though, sometimes people just need time to cope with the consequences of a long-term commitment. But even if you have been together for so long already, it’s still not something somebody would do on a whim.

9. He’s distracted when he’s with you

If he seems distracted all the time when he’s with you, it may be a sign that his mind is somewhere else completely different. Maybe he’s even thinking of another person.

This behavior can be caused by stress or work, but it may be a red flag too. He could just not feel the same way you do about something.

If he seems to be easily distracted all the time, then it may be time to move on. Don’t wait for things to escalate or get too complicated. That just makes achieving your goal more difficult than necessary.

10. He’s always making excuses not to see you

If he often cancels plans with you or skips days when you usually meet up, it may be time to move on. Maybe he doesn’t even realize what his behavior means and thinks he has good reasons for why he can’t see you as often as you want him to.

However, if he cancels plans frequently and doesn’t even bother to reschedule them, it may be a sign that he’s just not interested. This could be a sign that he’s moving on. He doesn’t see you in his future anymore, so there’s no need to make plans.

11. He’s always canceling on you last minute

If he cancels on you more than once or doesn’t even bother to reschedule, it means that this person doesn’t take you seriously. You’re not a priority in his life.

In particular, when he never seems to be available for you, but he still has time to go out with his friends or even act flirty with other women. If you’re often feeling insecure about the relationship, it may be a sign that this person just isn’t into you as much as you’d like him to be.

There are lots of people out there who will make you feel special. If your boyfriend is always canceling on you last minute, it may be time to move on!

12. He never takes any initiative in the relationship

If your boyfriend never takes the initiative in the relationship, it may be because he doesn’t see you as his girlfriend. He likes things the way they are and thinks this is all there is to it.

If you feel like he’s holding back from asking you out or taking any romantic initiatives in the relationship, it may be a sign that he doesn’t see a future for the two of you together. He just wants to stay in his comfort zone and not take any risks.

If your boyfriend doesn’t do anything to make plans with you, it may be time to move on.

Still unsure?

If you’re still unsure whether he wants a relationship with you or not, you should maybe try another approach. Check out if he has strong feelings for you! Our guide will help you!

Or is he an introvert that is hard to read? Here are our tips on dating an introvert that will definitely help you! If he doesn’t appear to have strong feelings for you, you should probably talk to him and find closure.

Secrets to a healthy relationship: Books every couple should read

It's no secret that a healthy relationship is key in a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship. This list of books about healthy relationships will help you learn how to communicate better, resolve conflict, and deepen your connection. From classic self-help books to more modern reads, these titles will give you the tools you need to build a strong and healthy relationship.

  1. Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
  2. Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship
  3. Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs: A Relationship Workbook for Couples
  4. Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples: Tools and Exercises to Rebuild Your Relationship
  5. Healthy Me, Healthy Us: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as You Are
Share this article: Facebook Pinterest WhatsApp Twitter
Share this article:
Author picture of James Mendoza
Dating Expert

James Mendoza

James Mendoza is a freelance writer who specializes in writing about relationships, marriage, and living happily as a single. After getting through two divorces and being cheated …

Read full bio

More articles you might like

People who are reading “12 signs he doesn't want a relationship with you” are also reading these articles:

Browse all articles