Thinking about what to text after no contact really starts with why you’re going to do it. If it’s simply to check-in and see how they’re doing, that’s perfectly fine. But if you’re looking to rekindle things, it’s important to be honest with yourself about your motives. Figuring this part out can help with formulating exactly just how to reach out to them.
Once you know why you want to connect, reach out and let them know. If they respond positively, great! If not, respect their wishes and move on.
Now that that’s out of the way, here are some examples of what to text your ex after no contact:
Short but sweet messages to let your ex know you are just checking in
If you genuinely just want to check in on your ex and see how they are doing then here are 3 impartial messages to send. These messages are straight to the point and leave no room for interpretation. Your ex will know exactly why you’re asking and depending on how they feel, it’s a “Yes, I’ll respond” or a “No, thanks” -kind of situation. Best of luck to you!
1. I thought about you.
Sending a message like this let’s your ex know what you’re feeling and why you are reaching out. It’s genuine and you’re simply wanting to know what they’re up to.
2. I miss you.
Here is a risky text but it shows you have your hands up and surrender! You’re letting your ex know you’ve mustered up some courage and are doing the first move post-breakup.
3. It’s been a while.
A text like this sounds like it’s coming from a peaceful place. It is a generally sweet gesture for an ex that you simply want to reconnect with— possibly as good friends this time!
Simple, right? Letting them know you were thinking about them, or you miss them, or you want to reach out are pretty straightforward. These messages leave no room for ambiguity. It’s not like you want to get back together or anything. But these show that you still are a caring person and that they’ve been on your mind.
10 things to text your ex if you want to rebuild the friendship after no contact
Time has passed since your breakup and you think and feel it’s time to reconnect. Let your ex know that they’ve been in your mind. Send them a short message that allows you both to have a relatively short back-and-forth conversation. They may or may not respond and that’s okay. As long as you’ve said your peace and that you tried!
1. If you want to be direct
This message lets your ex know exactly what you want from them. They’re not left confused and is a pretty easy and non-confrontational message to respond to.
2. If you want to be quirky
Telling them about a dream is a lighthearted conversation starter that can lead to a friendly conversation. Nothing too dramatic or emotional.
3. If you want to be affectionate
This one is a little direct and can give the impression that you may want to see them. Or that you may still have some feelings for them. No worries at all since everyone does go through this after a breakup.
It will sound less awkward if it’s been sometime after the breakup. If it’s a fresh breakup, prepare for the worse as your ex may not respond positively. If they do receive the message openly, continue the conversation as honestly as you can.
4. If you want to be inviting
This message lets them know you’re curious and that you somewhat care. It’s a direct yet open way to start a conversation with an ex.
5. If you’re feeling sentimental
Send this message if you want to let them know that they’re still part of your life through the things you used to share. In this case, a song.
6. If you’re feeling nostalgic
This one is somewhat confrontational as it prompts them to relive some of their memories. Depending on what that exact memory is that you are remembering, they may receive it kindly.
7. If you’re missing them
This is a recipe for closure or perhaps even an invitation to rekindle the relationship. Of course, it’s not always the case. But the bottom line is that you are sending this message with the impression that you are emotional at the moment.
8. If you’re feeling caring
This message lets them know you are probably in a good place on your post-breakup journey and are comfortable enough to share it in a caring way. It’s fun and light. They’ll most like feel grateful for the short reminisce.
9. If you’re feeling supportive
Similar to the previous message, a text like this sounds like it’s coming from a good place. They may respond with a short “Thanks, you too!”. It’s a safe text to respond to and you can most likely expect that a conversation doesn’t need to happen. Which is a good thing, if that is what you want.
10. If you’re feeling sympathetic
This message shows a lot more about how you are feeling at the moment. Send it if you are ready to be vulnerable just in case they respond with a similar tone.
Whatever you do, avoid getting into LONG back-and-forth text conversations. Text them with a goal in mind and when the context calls for them, end the conversation kindly. Thank them for responding, and close the inbox. If they respond, great! If not, let it go. Don’t keep pushing for a response or trying to rekindle things that are clearly not there.
Texting your ex after no contact can be a tricky situation, but if you’re honest with yourself and respectful of their wishes, you’ll be just fine. Best of luck!
The ultimate book list: Surviving and thriving as a single person
Whether you’re single by choice or circumstance, there’s no doubt that being unattached has its set of unique challenges. But being single can also be one of the most empowering experiences in life - if you let it. To help you make the most of your single status, we’ve compiled a list of books every single person should read.
James Mendoza
James Mendoza is a freelance writer who specializes in writing about relationships, marriage, and living happily as a single. After getting through two divorces and being cheated …
Read full bio
