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Is your ex trying to get your attention? You’re scrolling through your social media feed and you see that your ex has liked one of your posts, or maybe even worse, they’ve left a comment. We’ve all been there before. At first you might feel flattered. Hey, they must still be thinking about me!
But then reality sets in and you remember that you’re no longer together for a reason. So what do you do? First, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Are they liking or commenting on all of your posts? Or just the ones that are particularly personal or sentimental? If it’s the latter, then they might just be trying to get a reaction out of you.
1. They “like” all of your posts
Liking a post or two every now and then is relatively harmless. But when they like every single one of your posts even though you know it’s not their cup of tea, this could be a sign. It’s a subtle mind game that lets you know you are still very much within their social radar and are shameless enough to show it by liking all of your posts.
2. They comment on every single one of your photos
Comments on personal photos are a clear indication that they are trying to get your attention! First of all, you are exes. If they are on their path to recovery and moving on, and perhaps even dating other people; they shouldn’t be risking leaving any trail behind for new prospects. This could possibly mean they’re not interested in seeing other people at the moment and are still needing attention specifically from you.
3. They post photos of you two together (even though it’s been years)
Posting photos of you two together is generally harmless but it still means they want your attention. While they could just be sentimental at the moment and may have already completely moved on from your relationship, they are still thinking about you. Hence the evidence of old photos.
4. They constantly tag you in posts
When an ex constantly tags you in posts, it’s a clear indication that they’re trying to get your attention. Why would they even tag you in posts when you’re no longer together? Won’t this turn off any potential suitors or admirers for them? Either way, this online gesture exists to serve you.
5. You catch them stalking your profile every now and then
It’s normal to stalk an ex every once in a blue moon. But if your ex makes it apparent that they are stalking you, you may want to ponder why— perhaps even confront them.
Stalking only means there are lingering feelings and that your ex may miss you. One sure thing about being stalked by an ex is that they remembered you at the moment and are just keeping tabs on you.
6. They always seem to be online at the same time as you are
Being online at the same time as you are can just be a coincidence. But if during that time period your ex engages in a non-verbal communicative way (i.e. liking your posts and commenting on photos) then it could clearly mean they’re trying to get your attention. They may not always engage in direct messaging for some reason but they clearly can’t control letting you know they are open and online.
7. They’ve started following all of your friends and family members on social media
An ex following all of your friends and family members on social media is a huge waving flag that says “Give me attention!” On another note, it is an extreme gesture and you might want to unfriend them or at least let your friends and family know that you’re not together anymore so they know what’s up. Keep an eye out for questionable behavior like your ex messaging your friends when you notice this.
8. They post about their life in a way that makes it obvious they’re trying to make you jealous
Your ex is making you jealous through their posts is petty, but nonetheless an invitation to react. Don’t engage or fall for the trap. Just scroll past it and linger about the fact that they may not be over you yet or are just trying to hurt you through jealousy.
9. They post quote after quote about love and relationships
Your ex could still be in a grieving phase if they are posting quotes about love and relationship. This is generally harmless as people grieve in different ways.
Just be wary not to react or overreact if they happen to post something that stirs up some heavy emotions in you. Let it pass and scroll away.
10. Whenever you post something, they’re the first to like or comment on it
They obviously still have you in their favorites or close friends list to be able to like or comment first on your photos. It’s a sure-fire sign they’re out to get your attention. If you’ve broken up on good terms, take it as a friendly gesture and simply react back but don’t comment any further.
11. They frequently send you private messages
Nothing says “give me attention” like sending you direct, private messages. When an ex does this, they strongly want to communicate with you and perhaps just talk about things. Depending on your break-up situation, give them that attention. The outcome may be good for you too.
12. They always pop up in your “People You May Know” section on social media sites
While social media algorithms are purely digital numbers working their magic, if they pop up as suggestions, it may mean they are constantly checking out your profile. This isn’t always a sign that they are trying to get your attention, but it certainly has that effect now does it?
Think nothing of it too much and simply remove them from the suggestions list so you can go about your social media life in peace.
13. They post tons of photos with other people
Posting photos with other people is a sign that they want your attention and reaction— specifically, jealousy. They want you to see how happy they are with friends and without you. Or how they are getting attention from other people (besides you). You can always block, unfriend, or lessen their post updates on your feed to avoid any drama.
14. They change their profile picture often
Changing their profile photo often is similar to the previous sign. They want your attention. Perhaps they may even want you to like or comment on their post. If all are in good terms, go ahead and react. But if not, then it’s best to just ignore their tactics.
15. They delete all traces of you from their social media accounts
While keeping one photo of you together is not necessarily trying to get your attention. But it can mean they are still holding on to a glimmer of hope that you might get back together. So they are saving that one photo as a placeholder.
There you go! Look out for these telling signs that an ex is trying to get your attention. If you notice a lot of them, what should you do if you find yourself in this situation? The best thing to do is to ignore it. Don’t like or comment on their posts, and definitely don’t engage with them if they reach out to you directly. If they see that you’re not going to rise to the bait, they’ll eventually give up and move on.
Of course, this isn’t always easy, especially if you still have feelings for your ex. But remember, if they’re trying to get your attention on social media, it’s probably because they know they can’t have you in real life. So don’t let them ruin your day or your peace of mind. Just move on and focus on the people and things that make you happy.
The ultimate book list: Surviving and thriving as a single person
Whether you’re single by choice or circumstance, there’s no doubt that being unattached has its set of unique challenges. But being single can also be one of the most empowering experiences in life - if you let it. To help you make the most of your single status, we’ve compiled a list of books every single person should read.
David Hall
David Hall is a self-taught dating expert who works as a freelance writer to help people improve their love lives. He has always been interested in dating, physical attraction, and …
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