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There is no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to getting an ex lover back. However, there are certain things you can do to build back attraction and connection between the two of you.
In this blog post, we will discuss 15 different post-breakup behaviors that have been shown to be effective in making an ex want you back. Keep in mind that these tips should not be taken as gospel - use them as a starting point to figuring out what works best for your unique situation!
1. Re-establish contact gradually
Re-establishing contact is the very first barrier to break after getting a time off from your past relationship. After some time has passed, reach out to your ex through a text or email. Keep the message short and sweet, and be sure to express how much you’ve missed them!
Contacting them will also let them know that you are interested in them. That there is some attraction left, whether it be friendly or romantic. Take advantage of this and slowly build up your relationship again.
2. Get back in touch with your own life
One of the best ways to make your ex want you back is by living your best life possible! Show them that you’re doing just fine without them – you may even find that they come running back to you as a result.
Make sure not to fake it or make it look like you’re desperate. Remember that sure progress takes time to build up.
3. Make an effort to look good
Another way to build back attraction is by looking amazing every time you see your ex. This is easy to do if you live near each other or work at the same place. If not, try to flaunt it on social media given you haven’t blocked each other yet.
This doesn’t mean that you need to spend hours getting ready – just put in a little extra effort to look your best. Make yourself look clean and presentable. Remember that physical attraction will always play a key role in being noticed.
4. Be fun and upbeat
No one wants to be around someone who is negative all the time, so make an effort to be positive when you’re around your ex. They’ll be drawn to your good energy and it will make them want to be around you more. They’ll also be reminded of the times that you had fun together. How you made them laugh and how good your sense of humor actually is!
Someone who’s fun to be around with will always have people attracted to them. If your ex notices this change in you, you’ll be able to re-establish contact with them more easily.
5. Play hard to get
Playing hard to get is one of the oldest tricks in the book, but it works! If you seem like you’re not interested in getting back together, your ex will likely start to wonder why – and they may even come running back to you as a result. Use reverse psychology to your advantage.
6. Be flirty
Another way to build attraction is by flirting with your ex – let them know that you’re still interested in them! This doesn’t mean that you need to be all over them, but a little harmless flirting never hurt anyone. Start a few daring glances and unexpected small talks about how good they look!
If they reciprocate, it means they’re interested and could possibly mean they’d still take you back. Keep up with the subtle flirting until they flirt back too. Once they do, you’ve got your goal in sight!
7. Be supportive
Sometimes, people just need a shoulder to cry on. If your ex is going through a tough time, offer them your support and let them know that you’re there for them. They’ll appreciate it – and it may even make them want to get back together with you because they’ll see how kind you are. They would also think you still have feelings for them hence your support!
8. Spend time with their friends
Another great way to build back attraction is by spending time with their friends. Simply bond with them and enjoy your time together like you don’t have any hidden agenda. This will show your ex that you’re interested in their life and that you care about the people who are important to them.
There is also a chance that their friends will talk about you to them. This will only give you more chances and exposure to getting closer to them.
9. Do something that they’ve been wanting to do
If there’s something that your ex has been wanting to do, offer to do it with them! This is a great way to show them that you’re willing to make an effort for them. Taking an interest for their interests will surely make them second guess your whole relationship.
This could be going to a shop or restaurant they’ve been wanting to try. Playing their new favorite board game, or even simply taking an interest in any current hobbies of theirs.
10. Offer compliments
Everyone likes to hear compliments, so be sure to tell your ex how great they look or how much you appreciate them. If you’re not one to offer words of affirmation verbally, send them a short message. They’ll definitely appreciate it.
They’ll feel good once they receive compliments and they are going to want more. So they will more likely want to spend time with you just because of the way you notice them and appreciate them.
11. Be understanding
If your ex is going through a tough time, try to be understanding. Show them that you’re there for them and that you understand what they’re going through. This can be a great way to show your ex that you still care about them. And even if they’re not going through a tough time, try to be understanding towards their daily experiences in general!
Being understanding towards them could be offering them an ear and intently listening to what they have to say. Responding to what they’re saying in a more thoughtful way is also another trick you can try.
12. Make plans together
If you want to make your ex want you back, start making plans together! Start with something small like catching the bus together to work, or lunch, or even simply getting a water refill! Next thing you know, the plans turn into bigger things. This will only show them that you’re interested in spending time with them.
13. Do something special for them
If you want to make your ex feel special, do something nice for them! This could be anything from cooking their favorite meal to buying them a small gift or just congratulating them when the occasion warrants it. They’ll definitely appreciate it.
If those gestures are a bit much to start with, it can be offering to eat lunch with them together, offering a beverage, or even offering help with simple tasks. This shows you still care about them and that you are still interested in them.
14. Be there for them
One of the most underrated things that people miss to create attraction is being for the other person. It’s the most obvious way to show you are paying attention. And who doesn’t like attention?— especially when it’s the warm kind!
People just need someone to be there for them. If your ex is going through a tough time, offer to be there for them. This could mean anything from listening to their problems to simply being a shoulder to cry on.
15. Tell them how you feel
Sometimes, the best way to get what you want is by simply telling the other person how you feel. If you want your ex back, tell them! Doing this could make things easier for both of you. No wasting time and effort. Get straight to the point! They may not say yes right away, but at least both of you know where you stand— and it might just make them want to get back together with you.
If you’re willing to put in the effort, there’s a good chance that you’ll be able to get your ex back. Good luck! And if all else fails, don’t forget that there are plenty of other fish in the sea— remember that, and you’ll be just fine.
The best breakup books that will help you heal
It’s hard to move on after a breakup. The pain, anger, and confusion can be all-consuming. If you’re struggling to recover from a breakup, here’s a list of titles that might help. From self-help books to novels, you’re sure to find something on this list that can help you get through this tough time.
- Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You
- How to get over anyone in few days: Breakups will never hurt like before
- Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating
- Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse
- After the Breakup: A Self-Love Journal: Prompts and Practices to Help You Get Over Your Ex
Janet Smith
Janet Smith is a freelance writer who writes about psychology, relationships, and dating. She has always been interested in understanding the human brain and how it affects our …
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