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How to Be Friends With Your Ex: 10 Tips for Success

Are you friends with your ex? If you're looking to be friends, then consider these 10 tips that will help make it easier to do so. Read on!

Author picture of James Mendoza
Dating Expert James Mendoza October 6, 2022 • 6 minutes read
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Breaking up is never easy, but sometimes it’s for the best. If you’ve recently gone through a break-up and are struggling to move on, don’t worry – you’re not alone.

Many people find it difficult to be friends with their ex after a break-up. But with some effort, it is possible. In this blog post, we will give you ten tips on being friends with your ex. Follow these, and you’ll be able to move on from your relationship and maintain a friendship with your ex.

1. Get a proper closure

A couple having a serious, heartfelt conversation, looking relieved after finding closure.

One of the biggest signs that you’re not ready to be friends with your ex is if you haven’t been able to close your relationship properly. If you’re still harboring feelings for your ex, it will be challenging to be friends with them.

You need to have a proper closure with your ex to move on. This means having a final conversation where you both agree to end things, have friendly terms and move on. Once you’ve done this, you’ll be better off being friends with your ex. This is one of the baby steps to being friends with your ex.

2. Forgive your ex and accept their forgiveness

Residual feelings are a bad sign, and it is not a good idea to be friends with your ex if you still have them. If you want to remain friends with your ex, you need to completely forgive them for whatever wrong they did during the relationship. This includes forgiving them for any pain they caused you, any lie they told you, and anything else you’re still holding onto.

It’s also important to accept your ex’s forgiveness. If they’ve forgiven you for your mistakes, it’s time to let go of the past and move on. This is a sign of maturity, and it will show your ex that you’re capable of being friends.

3. Do not spread gossip about them

A person discreetly whispering gossip about someone behind their back.

One of the quickest ways to ruin your chances of being friends with your ex is by spreading gossip about them. This includes talking badly about them to their families and friends, trashing their reputation, mentioning your unresolved feelings about them, and so on.

If you want to be friends with your ex, you need to respect their privacy and not spread any gossip about them. Gossiping about your ex is one of the signs of a toxic relationship, and you are not capable of being friends.

4. Give yourself time to heal

If you’ve just gone through a break-up, it’s essential to give yourself time to heal. Meaning taking some time for yourself, focusing on your personal life, and doing things that make you happy. It’s also essential to have a cooling-off period where you don’t contact your ex.

This will give you time to assess your feelings and determine if you’re truly ready to be friends with your ex. If you find that you’re still struggling to move on, it’s probably not a good idea to be friends with your ex just yet. Authentic friendship with your ex can only happen once you’ve both had time to heal.

5. Talk openly and honestly with your ex

Two people sitting across from each other, engaged in an open and honest conversation.

If you want to be friends with your ex, you need to be able to talk openly and honestly with them. This means being able to discuss your break-up openly, without any negative feelings. You should also be honest about your feelings and what you’re looking for in a friendship.

If you’re not able to have open and honest conversations with your ex, it’s probably not a good idea to be friends with them. Friendship is built on trust and communication, so if you’re unable to communicate appropriately, the friendship will likely not work out.

6. Respect each other’s boundaries

It’s important to respect each other’s boundaries when trying to be friends with your ex. This means respecting their decision to move on and respecting their new relationship.

If you can’t respect your ex’s boundaries, you’re likely not ready to be friends with them. Friendship requires that you be able to put your feelings aside and respect the other person’s needs.

7. Maintain the same circle of friends

A diverse group of friends laughing and socializing together in a close-knit circle.

If you want to be friends with your ex, it’s essential to maintain the same circle of friends. This means not trying to distance yourself from their friends or family and not trying to replace them with new friends.

Spending time with your ex’s friends and family is one of the best ways to maintain a friendship with your ex. This is because you’re able to stay connected to them and their lives and have this healthy boundary between you and your ex.

8. Understand your limitations

There are some things that you just can’t do as friends with your ex. This includes having an intimate moment with them, sharing intimate details about your new relationship, and anything else that would cross the line into a romantic or sexual relationship.

It’s essential to understand your limitations when trying to be friends with your ex. Friendship is not about trying to rekindle the romance. It’s about having a platonic relationship.

9. Be supportive of each other’s dreams

Two people encouraging each other, celebrating shared dreams and offering support.

One of the best ways to be friends with your ex is by being supportive of each other’s goals and dreams. This means cheering them on in their career, being there for them when they’re going through a tough time, and celebrating their successes.

By being supportive of each other, you can maintain a positive relationship and build a strong friendship.

10. Respect their new partners

If your ex is dating someone new, it’s essential to respect their new relationship. This doesn’t mean that you have to like the person – but you should try to be respectful.

Don’t talk about the past too much. When you’re talking to your ex, don’t bring up old memories all the time. It’s okay to talk about history occasionally, but don’t dwell on it.

If you want to be friends with your ex, it’s important to respect each other’s boundaries, communicate openly and honestly, and maintain the same circle of friends. It’s also important to understand your limitations and respect each other’s new relationships. By being supportive of each other’s goals and dreams, you can build a strong friendship.


Must-read books about exes

Exes can be a touchy subject. Whether you’re still hung up on them, or you’ve moved on, they’re often a topic that’s hard to avoid. If you’re in the former or latter camp, these books about exes might be for you. These titles explore everything from what it’s like to be dumped to how to deal with an ex who won’t go away.

  1. Flirting: How to Flirt for Women Wanting to Date a High-Value Man, Including Seductive Body Language Techniques and a Guide to Get Your Ex Back
  2. Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex
  3. Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating
  4. The Friends With Benefits Rulebook: How to Get in, Get Laid, and Get Out With Dignity (and Even a Relationship)
  5. She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

Frequently asked questions

How do I know if I'm truly ready to be friends with my ex?

You're ready when you've achieved proper closure, forgiven them completely, and given yourself ample time to heal without lingering romantic feelings. If you can honestly discuss your past relationship without negative emotions, that's a strong indicator you're on the right track.

What are some signs that trying to be friends with an ex is a bad idea?

If you still harbor strong romantic feelings, can't forgive past hurts, or find yourself gossiping about them, it's not a good idea. Also, if you can't respect their new relationships or boundaries, you're likely not ready for a platonic friendship.

Is it okay to maintain the same friend group after a breakup if we want to be friends?

Absolutely, maintaining your shared circle of friends can actually help foster a healthy platonic relationship with your ex. It allows you both to stay connected in a natural way, reinforcing the idea of a shared social life rather than a romantic one.

Why is it so important to set clear boundaries when trying to be friends with an ex?

Clear boundaries are crucial to prevent misunderstandings and to ensure the friendship remains strictly platonic. This means avoiding intimate moments, not discussing details of new romantic partners with them, and respecting their personal space and choices to avoid rekindling old dynamics.

What if my ex wants to be friends but I'm still struggling with my feelings?

If you're still struggling, it's essential to prioritize your own healing first. Communicate honestly with your ex that you need more time and space. Rushing into a friendship when you're not ready will only cause more pain and likely damage any chance of a genuine future friendship.

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Author picture of James Mendoza
Dating Expert

James Mendoza

James Mendoza is a freelance writer who specializes in writing about relationships, marriage, and living happily as a single. After getting through two divorces and being cheated …

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