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So, you’ve heard the term “queerplatonic” before, but what does it actually mean? While there is no one way to define a queerplatonic relationship, they often involve a strong emotional connection and may even involve physical intimacy. If you’re curious about exploring this type of relationship, read on to learn more!
Understanding relationships is the key to having successful ones. Read our in-depth guide to learn all about the different types of relationships, attachment styles, and how you can make them work for you.
Defining queerplatonic relationships
A queerplatonic relationship (QPR) is a type of relationship that falls somewhere between a friendship and a romantic relationship. Queerplatonic relationships typically involve greater levels of emotional intimacy and connection than simple friendships but don’t involve romance and physical intimacy.
Aromantic people and people on the asexual spectrum may find queerplatonic relationships to be a good fit for them, as these relationships don’t involve the expectation of sexual attraction or activity.
QPRs are sometimes called “non-sexual relationships”, but this term can be misleading, as some queerplatonic partnerships do include physical affection such as hugging, cuddling, and kissing, which are usually absent from strictly platonic relationships.
There is no one-size-fits-all definition of a queerplatonic relationship, as these relationships can take many different forms. They are unique to each couple or group involved in them.
How are queerplatonic relationships different from typical friendships?
So what sets queerplatonic relationships apart from regular friendships? Let’s take a look at some of the key differences:
1. Queerplatonic relationships involve a greater level of emotional commitment.
Queerplatonic partnerships are built on a foundation of mutual trust and understanding. These relationships often involve a higher degree of emotional intimacy than simple friendships.
2. Physical affection is often a part of queerplatonic relationships.
While queerplatonic relationships usually don’t involve romance or sexual activity, physical affection is often a part of them. This can include hugging, cuddling, and kissing.
3. Some people in queerplatonic relationships identify as “queerplatonic partners”.
People in queerplatonic relationships may choose to identify as “queerplatonic partners” or “QPs”. This is a way of acknowledging the unique nature of their relationship.
How are queerplatonic relationships different from romantic relationships?
Now that we have taken a look at the differences between a regular friendship and a queerplatonic relationship, it’s time to explore how queerplatonic relationships are different from romantic ones.
1. Queerplatonic relationships are typically not based on sexual attraction.
Romantic relationships are typically based on sexual attraction, while queerplatonic relationships can be based on a variety of different factors, including emotional connection, shared interests, and compatible personalities.
2. Queerplatonic relationships typically don’t involve the expectation of sexual activity.
While there is no set rule, it is generally accepted that queerplatonic relationships do not involve the expectation of sexual activity.
3. Queerplatonic relationships typically don’t involve the expectation of romantic elements.
Romance does not have to be a part of queerplatonic relationships, and in fact, may not be a part of them at all. However, queerplatonic relationships can still involve romantic feelings, just not the expectation of them.
Different forms of queerplatonic relationships
Now that you know a little more about what queerplatonic relationships are, it’s important to understand that there is no one-size-fits-all definition of them. Queerplatonic relationships can take many different forms, and they are unique to each couple or group involved in them.
Here are some examples of different types of queerplatonic relationships:
1. Two people who are both aromantic or asexual find each other to be good platonic friends.
Aromantic and asexual people often find platonic relationships to be a good fit for them, as these relationships don’t involve the expectation of sexual and romantic activity.
2. Two people who are both heteroromantic find each other to be good platonic friends.
Heteroromantic people often find that they are able to have platonic relationships with people of the opposite gender without feeling any romantic attraction to them.
3. Two people who are both gay and find each other to be good platonic friends.
Queerplatonic relationships can be formed between any two people, regardless of their sexual orientation. In this example, we have a couple of gay friends who are happy just being platonic friends with each other.
4. A group of three or more friends who all identify as queer and have a close emotional connection with each other but do not consider themselves to be in a romantic relationship.
A queerplatonic relationship is not limited to just two people. This example showcases a group of queer friends who have a close emotional connection with each other but do not consider themselves to be in a romantic relationship.
No matter what form they take, queerplatonic relationships are an important part of the LGBTQ+ community. They provide a space for people who may not be able to find romantic relationships or traditional friendships to be themselves and connect with others in a meaningful way. Queerplatonic relationships are unique and special, and they should be celebrated!
The idea behind queerplatonic relationships
Queerplatonic relationships are all about giving people the opportunity to have a committed relationship without having to worry about traditional gender roles or expectations. Western culture often imposes a lot of expectations on romantic relationships, such as the expectation that both partners will be sexually attracted to each other and that they will eventually get married and have children. Queerplatonic relationships offer an alternative to heteronormative relationships.
Terms of endearment in queerplatonic relationships
There are some cute and funny terms of endearment that you can use in a queerplatonic relationship.
Queerplatonic partners often call each other zucchini. Why zucchinis? Because it’s a great compromise between “friend” and “partner.” Zucchini is a term that’s lighthearted and fun but still acknowledges the depth of the relationship.
The term “squish” is often used to describe the feeling of being close to someone you love. It’s a combination of the words “squeeze” and “hug.” When you’re in a queerplatonic relationship, you can expect to experience a lot of squishes.
The benefits of having a queerplatonic relationship
Heteronormative rules and expectations often make it difficult for people to find relationships that fit their needs. But QPRs provide a safe, comfortable space for those who don’t fit into the traditional mold. Here are just a few of the benefits of having a queerplatonic relationship:
1. You can be yourself without feeling judged.
Queerplatonic relationships are built on trust and understanding. There is no need to pretend to be someone you’re not, and you can express yourself freely without fear of judgment.
This freedom can be incredibly liberating and can help you form a closer, more authentic connection with your queerplatonic partner.
2. It’s a great alternative to traditional heteronormative relationships.
If you’re not interested in traditional partnerships, a queerplatonic partnership can be a great alternative. There are no rules or expectations to follow, and you can structure your relationship in whatever way works best for you and your partner.
Flexibility is another key advantage of QPRs - they can easily accommodate different needs and desires. Partners in a queerplatonic relationship are not locked into any specific roles and can change how they interact with each other as their needs change.
Queerplatonic relationships can also provide a sense of community that is often missing from traditional romantic relationships. Partners in a queerplatonic relationship can share their experiences with each other and feel understood in a way that they may not feel with traditional romantic partners.
This can be really important for people who don’t fit into the heteronormative mold of what a relationship should look like.
Queerplatonic relationships can be incredibly fulfilling and satisfying. If you’re thinking about entering into one, it’s important to remember that every relationship is different, and there is no single template for what a queerplatonic relationship should look like. Be open to negotiation and change, and be prepared to work hard to make your relationship flourish.
Must-read queer books to add to your reading list
Queerness is often left out of the mainstream conversation, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. If you're looking for a crash course on queer history, literature, and culture, look no further than this list of must-read queer books. From novels to memoirs to anthologies, these books will give you a much-needed education and insight on LGBTQ+ lives and experiences that are often overlooked or ignored.
- Queer Cosmos: The Astrology of Queer Identities & Relationships
- Gay Dating, your guide to finding love: The essential read for every gay man
- Beyond Monogamy: Polyamory and the Future of Polyqueer Sexualities
- Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference
- Helping Gay Men Find Love: Tips for Guys on Dating and Beginning a Healthy Relationship