Relationship

20 biggest turn-offs in serious relationships!

They're intelligent, witty, good-looking, and they seem to be interested in you. You can't believe your luck! However, as time goes by suddenly, the things they do that have appeared so charming at the beginning begin to irritate you more and more. We put together a list with the 20 turn-offs in relationships!

Dating Expert Janet Smith September 28, 2022 • 8 minutes read
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No one is perfect and we all have our quirks. But there are some behaviors that can be major turn-offs in a relationship. Here are some of the most common ones!

1. No sense of humor

Having a sense of humor is not only attractive but also shows intelligence. So if someone has no interest in making you laugh, this might be a sign of more severe problems.

Not being able to laugh at yourself or the world around you suggests that they take themselves too seriously and might not be able to have fun in general. This is a huge turn off.

2. Lack of empathy

People who lack empathy are blind to other people’s emotions. They might not care when you’re upset or unhappy, even if they caused it. You could even be in the middle of an argument, and they’ll fail to realize that you aren’t satisfied with their response.

Healthy relationships involve mutual respect and understanding, so if you can’t feel this from your partner, it could be the beginning of the end.

3. No kissing/affection

A kiss here and there is not too much to ask, right? Showing some love and affection can help strengthen your relationship. We all need a little affection from our partner!

Even if it’s just holding hands while you walk down the street, you should at least get a smile or a quick peck on the cheek every now and then!

4. Lack of independence

Having a partner that does not have their own life is a huge red flag. While it is nice to feel like part of a couple, you should always retain some independence - whether that’s your friends or your own interests.

Everyone has things they like to do in their free time and it’s important to find someone who values your independence as much as you do theirs. This can also help to avoid one person ending up feeling smothered by the other.

5. Selfishness

We’ve all had moments where we put our own needs first. But if you find that your partner is selfish more often than not, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.

Look out for signs that they are being so self-involved. This can be anything from being late for a date because they are watching football to texting all day during your romantic dinner. Being aware of how your actions affect other people is an important life skill, so if someone is selfish, this should immediately raise red flags!

6. One-word answers

Having a conversation without getting any proper responses is frustrating! Not being able to have conversations can be a major red flag in a relationship because it shows that this person does not hold enough value in the connection that you share.

It’s not that you want them to give you the play-by-play of their lives, but it would be nice if they showed some interest when you are speaking. It feels very disheartening when someone only responds with one-word answers because it makes you feel like your presence is annoying or boring for them.

7. Clinginess

The person you’re with can’t seem to get enough of you at all times. However, this kind of behavior can become very suffocating for both parties rather quickly. It’s important to retain some of your own interests and friends so that you can maintain a healthy balance. It can be a red flag if your partner gets upset when you want alone time.

8. Taking you for granted

Being with someone who takes you for granted is a huge red flag. It can be easy to fall into a role that sees you doing everything for your partner, but this is not the relationship you deserve!

They say that the best things in life are free, but there is nothing better than being with someone who treats you like a priority for a lot of us. Loving gestures and compliments can go a long way to helping your relationship grow, so if you feel like they’re taking you for granted, then it might be time to reconsider this relationship.

9. Being overly critical

Being with someone who is overly critical can be very draining. Whether they are too critical of you, your looks, or everything else around them, an overly-critical partner can be incredibly off-putting.

The problem with this behavior is that it shows that they care more about their own opinions than anyone else’s. This makes for a very unhealthy relationship dynamic.

10. Having no ambition

Having goals and dreams is important to succeeding in life. A lack of ambition often suggests that they are not interested in their self-development, let alone the relationship.

As many people see relationships as a two-way street, this can be incredibly frustrating to deal with. After all, what sort of partner wants someone who has no plans for the future?

11. Lack of hygiene

Most people find bad odors and poor hygiene a big turn-off. Although there is nothing wrong with not putting much effort into your looks, this behavior suggests that they do not care about what you think at all. After all, who wants to shower someone else with affection if they do not bother to take care of themselves?

12. Being glued to their phone 24/7

There is nothing wrong with checking your phone every now and then. We all get it, you’re waiting for a text from your crush! However, if you find that your partner is glued to their phone 24/7, that can be a problem.

Whether they are surfing the web or locked in a conversation with someone else, this behavior suggests that they do not find you interesting enough to spend any quality time with.

13. Being messy

Being messy can be a major turn-off. While it is not healthy to be too neat, being the complete opposite suggests that they are not interested in having a clean or organized household. After all, you might find yourself spending more time cleaning up after them than doing anything else.

14. Taking out their anger on you

Everyone gets angry occasionally, but that is a major red flag if they take out all their anger on you. It shows that they do not have the emotional intelligence to deal with their emotions, so they take it out on the people closest to them.

15. Treating you like a child

It can be hard to live with someone who treats you like a child. After all, why would you waste your time with someone who does not see you as an equal? This behavior suggests that they do not respect you. It can be incredibly frustrating to live with this type of person.

16. Making jokes about your insecurities

Many people make jokes about things that they find amusing. But if your partner makes jokes about your biggest insecurities, it can be a major turn-off.

We all have insecurities, and it can be incredibly hurtful to have someone use them as a punchline. And who wants to spend time with someone who constantly reduces you and does not seem to take anything seriously?

17. Being cheap

Being stingy with your money is a huge red flag in a relationship. It’s one thing to be frugal with money, but it is another to avoid spending on the people that you love.

A little generosity indicates that they are willing to spend some money on you, which shows that they care. If your partner is cheap, it can make you feel like they do not care about you at all.

18. Lack of initiative

Being the one to plan dates and organize outings can be exhausting. If you notice that your partner lacks initiative, it might be time to rethink this relationship.

Someone who is incapable of initiating plans, taking initiatives to do things, or simply making an effort is a major turn-off. Why would you want to be with someone who does not care enough about your needs and makes you feel like you always have to make the first move?

19. Being emotionally distant

If your partner is too emotionally distant, it can be a major turn-off. After all, loving relationships involve some level of intimacy and care.

This suggests that they do not have enough respect for the relationship to develop appropriate emotional intimacy. In other words, if they don’t want to open up to you, then there may be a big gap in your communication.

20. Talking about exes frequently

Finally, some people just can’t stop talking about their exes. This behavior suggests that they have serious unresolved issues with their former partners, which could be problematic in your relationship.

There you have it! These are some common turn-offs in relationships and why they can be a problem for your relationship. Of course, there is a bit of leeway with some of these behaviors. Still, it is likely a problem for your relationship if they do them regularly.


The best relationship books to help you survive and thrive

Whether single or in a relationship, it can be tough to navigate the waters of love. These books offer advice and guidance from experts and real-life couples alike, giving you the tools you need to make your relationship work. These books will surely provide some valuable insights if you are looking for a way to spice up your love life or simply learn how to better communicate with your partner.

  1. Love: The Psychology of Attraction: A Practical Guide to Successful Dating and a Happy Relationship
  2. Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
  3. The Power of Four Bases for Relationships: Can You Hit a Home Run in a Relationship?
  4. Communication and Relationship: A Guide to Deeper Connection, Trust and Intimacy to Improve Communication and Strengthen Your Bond as a Couple
  5. Couple's Bucket List: 101 Fun, Engaging Dating Ideas
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Dating Expert

Janet Smith

Janet Smith is a freelance writer who writes about psychology, relationships, and dating. She has always been interested in understanding the human brain and how it affects our …

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