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It can be frustrating when your partner doesn’t seem to trust you and constantly wants to be by your side. While some level of protection is understandable, it’s important to know when to draw the line. Hence too much protection and control can easily lead to an abusive relationship.
An overprotective partner can be a red flag in a relationship. That’s why we’ve put together a list of key signs that your partner is being too protective.
Always remember that your needs are as important as your partner’s. We know that relationships can be complicated. So, if you want to know more about maintaining a successful relationship, head to our relationship advice guide.
1. He always wants to know your whereabouts
If your partner is constantly asking you where you are and what you’re doing, it’s a sign that he’s too protective. This kind of overprotective behavior can be really stifling and make you feel like you’re not able to do anything on your own.
If you’re uncomfortable with this level of questioning, talk to your partner about it. Let him know that you need some space and that you don’t appreciate feeling smothered. If he doesn’t respect your wishes, it might be time to end the relationship.
2. He forbids you from seeing certain people
If your partner forbids you from seeing certain people, that’s a major red flag. This type of behavior is a characteristic of a possessive boyfriend, and it’s usually a result of your partner feeling insecure and needing to control you.
This kind of behavior is damaging to your relationships with others and can make you feel like you’re not in control of your own life. In the worst case, you might lose your friend circle because of your partner’s overprotectiveness.
If you’re in a situation like this, it’s important to talk to your partner about your feelings. Let him know that you want to be able to see your friends and family without his interference. In a loving relationship, both partners should be able to have their own lives and friends.
3. He’s always trying to control what you wear
If your boyfriend is always trying to control what you wear, it might be a sign that he’s overly protective of you. For example, if he doesn’t want you to wear anything that might show off your curves, or if he’s always telling you not to wear short skirts, then it’s likely that he’s just trying to control you.
Your body, your choice! It’s important to remember that it’s your right to be able to wear whatever you want, regardless of what your boyfriend thinks. If he can’t handle the fact that you have an independent personality, it might be time to move on.
4. He’s always asking who you’re talking to
If your partner is constantly asking who you’re talking to, it’s a sign that he doesn’t trust you. This type of behavior can be really irritating and make you feel like you’re not able to have any privacy. It can also be a sign that your partner is too possessive and doesn’t want you talking to anyone else.
Let him know that you need some privacy and that you don’t appreciate being spied on. In a committed relationship, both partners should be able to trust each other and don’t need to constantly be checking in. If your partner can’t respect your wishes, then it might be time to find someone who will.
5. He’s always checking your phone
If your partner checks your phone regularly, dump him right now! No, seriously, this is a major red flag that your partner is overprotective to the point of being controlling and abusive.
If he secretly reads all your texts or checks your social media, then you have a much bigger problem on your hands. This is not a healthy, functional relationship; it’s a dictatorship where your partner wants to be sure that you’re obeying his every command. This controlling behavior is actually a form abuse. 1
If this is happening in your relationship, get out before it gets any worse. You deserve better than this!
6. He’s always making you feel guilty
If your partner is always making you feel guilty, it’s a sign that he’s trying to control you. This type of behavior is manipulative and can be really damaging to your relationship and your mental health.
This is not a healthy, supportive relationship; it’s a one-sided power struggle where your partner is trying to control and manipulate you. Talk to your partner about your concerns and let him know that this type of behavior is not okay with you. If he can’t or won’t change his ways, then it’s time to go.
7. He gets angry if you don’t respond to his texts right away
If your partner is always getting angry at you because you don’t respond to his texts right away, it’s a sign that he’s overprotective. This type of behavior is demanding and violates your personal space.
There’s, of course, nothing wrong with being angry at your partner at certain times; Love and anger are two completely normal emotions in romantic relationships. 2 However, if he’s always getting mad at you, that is problematic. This is not an acceptable way to behave in a loving relationship.
8. He’s always making you feel like you’re not good enough
What kind of a man makes his partner feel like they’re not good enough? Answer: an overprotective A-hole If your partner is always putting you down or making you feel inferior, it’s a sign that he’s a manipulator.
This type of behavior is very damaging to your self-esteem and can leave you feeling worthless and ashamed. If your partner is doing this to you, talk to him about it and let him know that it’s not okay. If he doesn’t change, then leave him.
9. He gets angry if you don’t listen to him
If your partner always tells you what to do and gets angry when you don’t listen to him, it’s a sign that he’s more than overprotective. This type of behavior is controlling and can leave you feeling suffocated in your relationship.
If your partner is doing this, tell him that you need to be able to make your own decisions and that you don’t need his permission to do anything. If he can’t handle the fact that you’re an autonomous individual, then it’s time to find someone who will respect you.
10. He shows disrespectful behavior towards you
If your partner is disrespectful to you, it’s a sign that he’s crossing the line from overprotective into abusive territory. This type of behavior is not okay and should not be tolerated.
If your partner is mistreating you in any way, talk to him about it and let him know that this type of behavior is not acceptable. If he doesn’t change, then it’s time to end the relationship. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.
If your partner exhibits any of these signs, it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship. An overprotective boyfriend can be really damaging to your mental health and overall wellbeing.
According to Mental Health America, controlling behavior is one of the eight traits that characterize a toxic person. You might also look out if he tries to manipulate you, makes you feel bad about yourself, is judgmental, negative, self-centered, or shows signs of passive or active aggression. 1
If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, please reach out for help. There are people who can assist you in getting out of an abusive situation. You are not alone.
Secrets to a healthy relationship: Books every couple should read
It's no secret that a healthy relationship is key in a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship. This list of books about healthy relationships will help you learn how to communicate better, resolve conflict, and deepen your connection. From classic self-help books to more modern reads, these titles will give you the tools you need to build a strong and healthy relationship.
- Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
- Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship
- Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs: A Relationship Workbook for Couples
- Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples: Tools and Exercises to Rebuild Your Relationship
- Healthy Me, Healthy Us: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as You Are