Relationship

Is my husband gay? 8 telltale signs to look out for

Do you question your partner's sexual orientation? It can be difficult to face the possibility, but there are signs you can watch for. Read on to find out whether your husband might be gay.

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Is my husband gay? Is he living a secret life? These are questions that many women find themselves asking. While there is no single answer, some signs may suggest you are in a relationship with a gay husband.

If you want to learn more about marriage in general, you should check out our ultimate marriage guide and find out everything you need to know about marriage!

How do you know if your husband is gay?

You can never know for sure if you’re husband is gay unless you ask him directly. Even though there are some stereotypical behavior patterns of gay people who are still in the closet, they are not reliable factors to spot a closeted person.

But don’t get discouraged. As mentioned before, there are some signs to look out for if you suspect your husband is gay. Many men have lived double lives for many years without their wives noticing it. These women noticed certain behaviors and signs that they missed while it was happening.

So if you’re noticing a lot of the signs below in your husband, it’s time to have a serious conversation with him.

8 signs your husband might be gay

So without further ado, let’s get into the signs that may suggest your husband is gay.

1. He never initiates sexual activities.

One warning sign that your partner might be gay is he never initiates sex. Of course, there are many possible reasons why he doesn’t seem interested in having sex with you. For example, he could be stressed at work or struggle with other personal problems. So if this is the only sign you notice, it does not mean your husband is gay.

2. He seems absent when you are having sex.

There’s no passion when you are having sex? A lack of passion is a sign that something is wrong in your relationship. Whatever it is, you should talk with your partner about it.

3. He has erectile problems.

Erectile problems can be caused by many things. However, if your husband is in fact, gay, it’s no wonder that he has erectile problems when you are having sex. Having erectile problems can also be caused by depression or stressful periods.

4. You find gay porn on his search history.

This is an obvious sign that your husband might be gay. Why would he watch gay porn if he didn’t get turned on by it?

So if you found gay porn on his search history, talk to your husband about it.

5. He regularly makes homophobic comments or jokes.

Showing homophobic behavior by a hidden homosexual person might seem contradictive. However, some studies showed that people who are more hostile towards gays or show homophobic behavior may themselves have hidden homosexual desires.

6. He seems depressed.

Keeping such a big secret takes a toll on one’s mental health. No wonder a lot of closeted people suffer from depression.

Some signs of depression are:

7. He’s often out with a friend, not telling you where he goes

This is a typical sign of a cheater (not specifically of a hidden gay husband). In a healthy relationship, you should be transparent and honest with each other.

That doesn’t mean you have to share every little detail of your life with each other. However, why wouldn’t you tell your partner where you are going?

8. He tells you that he’s gay or bisexual.

If he tells you that he is gay or bisexual, you know it for sure. Now it’s time to talk about your marriage and how you are going to proceed. It can be helpful to seek professional help to cope with this difficult situation.


If you suspect your partner is gay, talk to him. Communication is key to any relationship, and it’s the only way to find out if your suspicions are true. It’s going to be a hard conversation, but you can do it!


The betrayed spouse’s books to recover from cheating

Infidelity is a complex and painful issue that can tear families and relationships apart. If you’re looking for guidance on dealing with cheating or trying to understand why it happened in your relationship, these books can offer insight and support.

  1. After the Affair, Third Edition: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
  2. Make Up, Don't Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples
  3. Cheating in a Nutshell: What Infidelity Does to The Victim
  4. Intimacy After Infidelity for Couples Struggling to Survive an Affair: 9 Practical Steps to Let go of Anger, Insecurity, Judgement, and Punishment & ... Emotionally
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