Relationship

7 steps on what to do if you hate your boyfriend

When it comes to relationships, there are bound to be ups and downs. But sometimes, things can get so bad that you start to wonder why you're still with your partner at all. In this post, we'll give you advice on what to do if you feel like you hate your boyfriend.

Dating Expert Janet Smith October 3, 2022 • 6 minutes read
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First of all, it’s important to note that there’s nothing wrong with feeling this way. It’s totally natural to periodically question your relationship and feel like you might not be as compatible with your partner as you thought. However, if these negative feelings are starting to outweigh the positives, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate things. Here are a few things to consider if you feel like you hate your boyfriend.

1. Take some time for yourself to figure out what’s going on

Don’t make any decisions about the relationship until you’ve had a chance to calm down and think things through. This is especially important if you’re feeling overwhelmed or emotional right now.

It’s possible that your strong feelings aren’t even caused by your boyfriend, but by something else entirely. Maybe there’s been a recent change in your life that’s making you feel off-balance. Or maybe you’re just stressed out from work or school. In any case, it’s important to take some time for yourself so you can figure out what’s really going on.

2. Evaluate the things you don’t like about your boyfriend

If you figured out that your hate feelings really belong to your boyfriend and not something else, take some time to think about the things that bother you about him. This can be tough, but it’s important, to be honest with yourself.

Are there certain character traits or habits that really drive you crazy? Do you feel like he’s not meeting your needs in the relationship? Be specific when listing these qualities so you can address them head-on.

3. Reflect on your relationship

Be honest with yourself about your relationship and whether it’s healthy for you. Ask yourself some tough questions, like whether you feel like you can be yourself around your boyfriend or if you’re constantly trying to change who you are to please him.

Think about your ideal relationship. What are the characteristics of that relationship? How does your current relationship compare?

If you decide that your relationship isn’t healthy for you, you need to take action. It must not mean the end of your relationship, but it definitely means that you have to talk with your partner and try to find a solution.

No relationship is perfect, and there will always be ups and downs. But if you feel like you hate your boyfriend, it’s probably time to take a step back and figure out what’s really going on.

4. Do you still love him?

Ask yourself if you still love your boyfriend. This is a tough question, but it’s important to be honest with yourself.

If you decide that you don’t love your boyfriend anymore, it’s probably time to end the relationship. But if you still care about him and you want things to work out, then don’t give up yet. There’s always hope for a relationship if both partners are willing to put in the effort.

5. Talk to your boyfriend about your concerns

Once you’ve evaluated what it is that’s making you so unhappy, it’s time to talk to your boyfriend about it. This can be a difficult conversation, but it’s important for the future of your relationship.

Be specific when talking about the issues that are causing you distress. For example, if you don’t like the way he talks down to you, tell him that. If you feel like he’s not meeting your needs, let him know what those needs are.

Remember that it’s important to be respectful and constructive when having this conversation. You want your boyfriend to be receptive to your concerns, so be sure to frame them in a way that will make that possible.

Express your concerns calmly and honestly. Let him know that you’ve been thinking about things and that you’d like to work on the relationship. If he’s willing to listen and work with you, then there’s hope for the future. But if he reacts defensively or dismisses your concerns, then it might be time to reconsider your relationship.

6. Talk to a friend for support

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it might be helpful to talk to a friend or family member about your concerns. They can offer impartial support and might be able to help you see the situation from a different perspective.

Talking to a friend can also be helpful in terms of getting advice. Maybe they’ve been through something similar or they know of a helpful book or article that could help you out.

Just make sure that you’re talking to someone you trust who will be supportive and constructive. Venting to a friend can be helpful, but it’s not a replacement for actually addressing the issues in your relationship.

7. Seek professional help if the problems persist

If you’ve tried to address the issues in your relationship and they still persist, it might be time to seek professional help. This doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed, but it could indicate that there are some issues at play on a deeper level.

There are many qualified couple therapists who can help you work through your issues. A therapist or counselor could help you see your relationship in a new light and give you some tools and professional advice to work through the conflict.

If after trying all of these things you still hate your boyfriend, it might be time to end the relationship. It’s never easy to make that decision, but it’s important to be honest with yourself and your partner. Ending a relationship is always difficult, but it’s better than staying in a toxic situation.


Love and hate are two very strong emotions that can exist side-by-side. If you still love your partner and want things to work out, it’s possible to save your relationship. We hope these tips helped you figure out what might be going on in your own head and gave you some tools to start repairing things. Remember, communication is key in any healthy relationship, so don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings (both good and bad) with your partner.


Secrets to a healthy relationship: Books every couple should read

It's no secret that a healthy relationship is key in a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship. This list of books about healthy relationships will help you learn how to communicate better, resolve conflict, and deepen your connection. From classic self-help books to more modern reads, these titles will give you the tools you need to build a strong and healthy relationship.

  1. Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
  2. Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship
  3. Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs: A Relationship Workbook for Couples
  4. Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples: Tools and Exercises to Rebuild Your Relationship
  5. Healthy Me, Healthy Us: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as You Are
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Dating Expert

Janet Smith

Janet Smith is a freelance writer who writes about psychology, relationships, and dating. She has always been interested in understanding the human brain and how it affects our …

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