Relationship

8 steps on how to stop overthinking in a relationship

Do you have a habit of overthinking? Do you find yourself worrying about what could go wrong or dwelling on past mistakes? If so, you're not alone. Overthinking is a common problem, and it can have a negative impact on your relationship. Read on for some relationship advice on how to stop overthinking.

Dating Expert Janet Smith October 3, 2022 • 6 minutes read
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Having doubts in a relationship from time to time is normal. However, constant doubt and overthinking in relationships can be damaging. If you find yourself overthinking things, it’s important to take a step back and relax. Here are 8 tips on how to stop overthinking in a relationship!

Struggling in your relationship? Check out our relationship advice guide for help!

1. Assess your feelings

Are you overthinking because of personal insecurities? Do you have trust issues? The first step to stop your habit of overthinking is to take a step back and assess your feelings. You might not even be aware of the reasons why you overthink. So take your time and figure out what’s causing your anxiety.

Most of the time, the problem doesn’t lie in the relationship but in yourself. If you’re insecure, for example, you might start to overthink things because you think your partner is going to leave you. In this case, the solution is not to try to control your partner or the relationship but to work on building your own self-confidence. Once you know the root cause of your overthinking, you can start to address it.

2. Communicate with your partner

In a healthy relationship, communication is key. If you’re overthinking things, talk to your partner about it. They might not even be aware that you’re stressed out. Talking openly about your anxieties will help to put your mind at ease and make you feel closer to your partner.

Plus, it can be helpful to get your partner’s perspective on things. They might see things differently than you do, and that can provide some much-needed clarity.

A lack of communication is often one of the reasons why people overthink in relationships. So make sure to talk to your partner regularly and openly.

3. Don’t try to control everything

One of the main reasons people overthink things is because they’re trying to control everything. They think that if they can just figure out the perfect solution, everything will be okay. But this isn’t realistic – and it’s also not healthy.

Try to let go of the need to control things. This doesn’t mean you have to stop caring about your relationship, but it does mean that you need to relax and let go of obsessive doubt. Trust that things will work out in the end, even if you don’t have all the answers.

4. Do activities outside of the relationship

Getting involved in other activities can help take your mind off of your relationship. For example, physical activity can help to release tension and reduce stress. Doing things that make you happy – such as spending time with friends, reading, or listening to music – can also help to take your mind off of your anxieties.

It’s important to have a life outside of your relationship. This doesn’t mean you don’t care about your partner, but it does mean that you need to take care of yourself, too. Don’t forget your own needs and interests. So use your spare time to do things that make you happy and help you relax. This will benefit both you and your relationship in the long run.

5. Practice mindfulness

One of the best ways to stop overthinking is to practice mindfulness. This means being completely in the moment and focusing on your current surroundings. It’s a form of meditation that can help you to relax and stop negative thinking.

You can start with breathing exercises. Mindful breathing can help to clear your mind and stop the endless cycle of overthinking. Every time you feel yourself start to overthink, take a few deep breaths and focus on the present.

After some time, you can move on to other mindfulness exercises, such as walking meditation or body scan meditation. There are many different types of mindfulness exercises, so find the one that works best for you.

6. Positive affirmations

For some people, positive affirmations can be helpful. This means repeating positive statements to yourself, such as “I am in control of my own thoughts” or “I am a strong and capable person.”

When you start to believe these statements, it can help to stop negative thinking. You can say them to yourself when you’re feeling calm, or even write them down and carry them around with you.

7. Learn to trust

A lack of trust can be a major cause of overthinking in romantic relationships. So, learning to trust your partner is key. This doesn’t mean you have to blindly trust them, but it does mean that you need to have faith in them. If you don’t trust your partner, it will be difficult for you to stop overthinking things.

Start by building trust in small ways. For example, trust your partner to do things that they say they’re going to do. Over time, this trust will grow, and you’ll feel more comfortable letting go of control.

8. Seek professional help

If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of overthinking, it might be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you to understand the root cause of your anxiety and give you tools to deal with it. With professional advice, you can start to take control of your thoughts and put your mind at ease.

It’s no shame to seek help – in fact, it’s one of the bravest things you can do. So if you’re struggling to stop overthinking, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.


If you find yourself overthinking things in your relationship, it’s important to take action. Overthinking can lead to anxiety and stress, which can be harmful to both you and your relationship. So use these tips to learn how to stop overthinking in a relationship. With time and practice, you’ll be able to put your mind at ease and enjoy a loving relationship.


The best self-care books to help you relax and unwind

Self-care is important for everyone, regardless of occupation or lifestyle. It’s the practice of taking time out for yourself to relax and rejuvenate and can be anything from a hot bath to reading your favorite book. If you’re looking for some self-care inspiration, check out our list of the best self-care books to help you heal and restore your soul.

  1. The Self-Care Solution: A Year of Becoming Happier, Healthier, and Fitter--One Month at a Time
  2. Self-Care for Black Women: 150 Ways to Radically Accept & Prioritize Your Mind, Body, & Soul
  3. The Just Girl Project Book of Self-Care: An Illustrated Guide for Young Women to Practice Self-Love, Self-Compassion & Mindfulness with Fun and Flair
  4. Declutter Your Mind: How to Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety, and Eliminate Negative Thinking
  5. Eliminate Negative Thinking: How to Overcome Negativity, Control Your Thoughts, And Stop Overthinking. Shift Your Focus into Positive Thinking, Self-Acceptance, And Radical Self Love
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Dating Expert

Janet Smith

Janet Smith is a freelance writer who writes about psychology, relationships, and dating. She has always been interested in understanding the human brain and how it affects our …

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