Relationship

How to leave your husband: 10 steps in preparing for divorce

Are you tired of being stuck in an unhappy marriage? Are you considering leaving your husband but don't know how to go about it? In this article, we'll give you some advice on how to leave your husband so you can start fresh and begin a new chapter in your life.

Relationship Expert Amy Clark October 3, 2022 • 7 minutes read
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Leaving your husband is a big decision. It’s probably not something you take lightly, and it’s definitely not something you do without a lot of thought. But sometimes, even if you don’t want to leave, things happen that make it the best option for you and your family. If that time comes for you, here are some tips on how to make the divorce process as smooth as possible.

1. Make up your mind

The first step in leaving your husband is to make a decision. This might seem like an obvious step, but it’s important to take the time to really think about your choice.Are you sure you want to divorce? What are your reasons for wanting to leave? Is there anything that could change your mind?

A difficult decision like this should not be made lightly, so be sure to consider all your options and give yourself time to think things through before making a final decision. If you have the opportunity, it might be helpful to speak with a counselor or therapist before making your decision. They can help you sort through your feelings and figure out what’s best for you.

2. Talk to your husband about your feelings and why you want to leave

This step is not always possible or necessary, especially if you’re in an abusive relationship. But if your marriage was generally healthy before you started having these feelings, it might be worth trying to talk to your husband about what’s going on.

Tell him how you’re feeling and why you’re considering leaving. He might not be aware of how unhappy you are, and this could be an opportunity to improve your marriage. But if you don’t feel safe talking to your husband about your decision, or if you’ve already tried and nothing has changed, then skip this step and move on to the next one.

3. Set up a separate bank account

Leaving your husband will probably mean setting up a separate bank account. This will give you financial independence and make it easier to manage your own finances.

Open up a new account in your name only, and deposit enough money to cover your monthly expenses at least for a few months. This will help you avoid any financial difficulties while you’re getting established on your own.

4. Find a place to live

If you’re leaving your husband, the chances are good that you’ll need to find a new place to live. This can be a difficult task, especially if you don’t have much money saved up.

Look for affordable housing options in your area, and see if you qualify for any government assistance programs. If your financial situation is dire, you might also want to reach out to family and friends to see if anyone can help you out with a place to stay.

5. Gather up important documents

If you decide to leave your husband, you’ll need to gather up some important documents. These might include:

You’ll also want to make copies of these documents, just in case. Keep the originals in a safe place, like a safety deposit box, and keep the copies with you. This will help you avoid any potential problems if your husband tries to destroy or hide the documents.

A divorce attorney can also help you gather the documents you’ll need and prepare for the legal process.

6. Contact a divorce attorney

If you’re going to be leaving your husband, it’s a good idea to hire a divorce attorney. A divorce attorney can provide you with professional advice and represent you in court, if necessary.

A divorce attorney can help you set up an exit strategy, gather important documents, and deal with any custody or property issues. If you’re on a tight budget, you might want to look for an attorney who offers free consultations. This way, you can get the advice you need without spending a lot of money.

7. If you have children, consider their needs

If you have children, it’s important to consider their needs when making the decision to leave your husband. If possible, try to work out a custody arrangement that allows your children to spend time with both parents (of course, only if you feel comfortable entrusting your children to their father).

It’s also important to make sure that your children have a support system in place, whether it’s family members, friends, or a mental health professional.

And be sure to explain the situation to your children in a way that they can understand. They might be scared or confused, and it’s important to reassure them that they’re not responsible for the situation.

8. Get emotional support

Leaving your husband can be a very emotional experience. You might feel scared, alone, and unsure of what the future holds. It’s important to find someone to talk to who can offer you support.

This might be a friend or family member, a therapist, or a support group for women or men going through a divorce. Talking to someone who understands what you’re going through can help you feel less alone and more capable of dealing with the situation.

9. Leave your husband

After you’ve taken all of the necessary steps, you’re finally ready to leave your husband. Before leaving, you might want to talk to him about your decision, or you might decide to just leave without saying anything. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. It really depends on the situation and what you feel comfortable with.

This might be one of the most difficult things you ever do, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. There are many resources available to help you through this tough time. With a little help, you’ll be able to start fresh and build a new life for yourself and your family.

10. How to deal with the aftermath

You might experience a range of emotions after you leave your husband. You might feel relieved, scared, sad, or even guilty. It’s important to give yourself time to adjust to the change and to work through your feelings.

If you have children, they might also be struggling with the divorce. Be sure to talk to them about what’s going on and to provide them with support.

If you’re finding it difficult to cope, don’t hesitate to reach out for help from a therapist or a support group. These resources can help you deal with the aftermath of leaving your husband and start rebuilding your life.


We hope this guide will help you if you’re considering leaving your husband. Take as much time as you need to make this decision, and be sure to seek out support from family and friends.

You might also be interested in:


Surviving divorce: Every book you should read

A divorce can be one of the most difficult experiences a person can go through. If you’re going through a divorce or are considering one, it’s important to arm yourself with as much information as possible. Here is a list of books that can help you survive divorce and come out the other side stronger.

  1. F*ck Divorce: A Science-Based Guide to Piecing Yourself Back Together after Your Life Implodes
  2. The Divorce Recovery Workbook: How to Heal from Anger, Hurt, and Resentment and Build the Life You Want
  3. I Just Want This Done: How Smart, Successful People Get Divorced without Losing their Kids, Money, and Minds
  4. The Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive
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Relationship Expert

Amy Clark

Amy Clark is a freelance writer who writes about relationships, marriage, and family. She has been happily married for over ten years and loves her husband and three kids. Before …

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