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After a breach of trust happens, it can be difficult to move on. You might feel like you can’t trust anyone again. You might feel angry, hurt, and humiliated. These are all normal reactions to being betrayed. But it is possible to get over what happened and rebuild your life. Here’s how:
1. Acknowledge your feelings
Don’t try to bottle up your emotions or tell yourself you shouldn’t feel the way you do. Recognizing and accepting your feelings is an important step in healing. Remember, there are no negative emotions, only emotions that have been held in for too long. So allow yourself to feel what you need to feel when you need to feel it.
You don’t have to force yourself to feel better, either. The healing process takes time. Just as you can’t force a physical wound to heal overnight, you can’t expect your emotional wounds to disappear immediately.
2. Be patient with yourself
There is no set timeline for getting over being cheated on. The healing process looks different for everyone. So don’t compare your process of healing to anyone else’s.
Some people might start to feel better in a matter of weeks, while others might take months or even years. Just focus on taking things one day at a time and being patient with yourself.
3. Allow yourself to grieve
Grief is a natural response to loss, and you might find yourself grieving the loss of the relationship. Just because the relationship wasn’t perfect doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grieve its loss.
You might feel like you need to “get over it” and move on as quickly as possible. But that’s not always possible or healthy. It’s okay to take your time and grieve in whatever way feels right for you.
Just make sure you don’t get too caught up in your grief. You might find yourself dwelling on what happened or replaying the hurtful moments over and over again in your head. This can actually make things worse. If you find yourself doing this, try to redirect your thoughts to something else.
4. Do things that make you happy
One of the best ways to start feeling better is to do things that make you happy. This can help take your mind off of what happened and give you a much-needed sense of joy.
Think about what makes you happy and try to do those things as often as possible. It might be spending time with friends and family, going outside, listening to music, or anything else that brings you joy.
5. Take care of yourself
Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Be sure to take care of yourself both physically and mentally during this tough time. Go outside, move your body and do more of what makes you feel good.
Some people might find it helpful to see a relationship therapist or counselor. Talking to someone who can help you understand and process your emotions can be very beneficial.
6. It’s not your fault!
It’s important to remember that being cheated on is not your fault. No one deserves to be cheated on, no matter what. The cheating partner is the only one responsible for their actions.
Don’t beat yourself up or try to find ways to blame yourself. That will only make things worse. If your partner cheated on you, it’s because they made the decision to do so. It has nothing to do with you or anything you might have done.
If you struggle with self-esteem issues after being cheated on, these 9 tips on how to get over insecurities after being cheated on will help you!
7. Have a conversation with your (ex-)partner
If you want to, you can have a conversation with your (ex-)partner about what happened. This can be a really difficult thing to do, but if you think it might help you heal, it’s worth considering.
Before going into the conversation think about what you want to say and what you hope to get out of it. It’s important, to be honest about how you’re feeling and what you need from the conversation. It can be helpful to write these things down beforehand.
If things start to get heated, you can always take a step back and end the conversation. It’s okay if you’re not ready to talk about what happened yet.
8. Focus on the future
What’s done is done, and you can’t change it. Focus on what you want your future to look like. Start making plans and setting goals for yourself. This can help you take your mind off of what happened and give you something to look forward to.
You might find it helpful to make a list of things you have always wanted to do or try. Maybe there’s a place you’ve always wanted to visit or a hobby you’ve been meaning to pick up. Now is the time to start making those things happen.
9. Focus on your happiness and not on fixing your relationship
It’s important to remember that you deserve to be happy, no matter what. Don’t stay in a relationship just because you’re afraid of being alone or because you think it’s the only option.
Of course, it’s also okay to try and fix things if that’s what you want. But don’t do it for the wrong reasons. Make sure you’re doing it because you really believe things can get better, and both of you are willing to put in the work to make it happen.
If you want to try and fix things, here are some useful tips on how to rebuild a broken relationship: How to fix a relationship after trust is broken
10. Seek professional help
If you find that you just can’t seem to get over what happened, it might be time to seek professional help. A licensed therapist or counselor can help you work through your emotions and get to a place where you can start to heal.
If you’re not sure if professional help is right for you, here are some signs that it might be:
- You’re struggling to take care of yourself or do your usual activities
- You’re drinking alcohol or using drugs more than usual
- You’re having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else
- You just can’t seem to stop thinking about what happened
If you’re struggling, reach out for help. You don’t have to go through this alone.
We hope these tips were helpful for you. Remember, it takes time to heal after being cheated on. Be patient with yourself and focus on taking care of yourself. You’ll get through this. There’s a brighter future ahead.
The best breakup books that will help you heal
It’s hard to move on after a breakup. The pain, anger, and confusion can be all-consuming. If you’re struggling to recover from a breakup, here’s a list of titles that might help. From self-help books to novels, you’re sure to find something on this list that can help you get through this tough time.
- Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You
- How to get over anyone in few days: Breakups will never hurt like before
- Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating
- Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse
- After the Breakup: A Self-Love Journal: Prompts and Practices to Help You Get Over Your Ex