Whether you want to improve your romantic relationship or just make your partner happier, there are things you can do to make a difference. Happy relationships aren’t built on a single effort. So don’t feel the pressure that you have to be the perfect girlfriend. However, you can still be an awesome girlfriend without fully carrying the weight of your relationship on your shoulders.
A successful relationship takes work, but it’s so worth it! Here’s our advice on how to make yours even better.
What does it mean to be a ‘good girlfriend’?
Before we talk about the tips on how to be a better girlfriend, we want to clarify some things:
- Your partner should never demand you to be the perfect wife or girlfriend.
- Your partner has no right to tell you who to be and what to do.
- Being a good girlfriend does not mean saying yes to everything your partner wants.
- Being a good girlfriend does also not mean prioritizing your partner’s needs over your own.
- Screw gender rules and screw sexism.
- So that we have that out of the way, we can go on to talk about how to build successful relationships and what exactly you can do to be a so-called better girlfriend.
Tips on how to be a better girlfriend
We won’t tell you how to be so-called wife material! You are a person, a human being, and that’s enough. We will tell you relationship tips and advice on how to become a better girlfriend and consequently build a healthy relationship.
1. Be understanding
To be understanding means that you try to see things through your partner’s eyes. You put yourself in their shoes, and you try to see what they are going through.
Is your partner going through a difficult time at work, or are they having trouble making ends meet? Maybe they recently lost someone close to them. It does not matter what the reason is; asking questions and listening shows you care.
Understanding the people around you is a way of being caring towards them, but it also helps form good long-term relationships between people. We all have our ups and downs in our beautiful love life, moments where things are just not that easy or stimulating anymore.
If you understand what your partner is going through, it shows that you care. And if your partner knows that you are willing to listen and try to imagine how they feel, they will appreciate your help more than anything else. It is not always easy to do this, but it is possible for everyone with some effort on both sides.
2. Have quiet time
Being able to sit in silence together shows that you trust each other and that you are comfortable being together without the need for words. You don’t have to talk all the time, and in fact, you can build a stronger connection to each other if you spend time not talking.
This does not mean that you should avoid talking with your partner or use quiet time as an opportunity to hide from the things that bother you. It is intended as a chance for both of you to recharge and relax after a busy day filled with people and stress.
It is a time when you and your partner can be yourselves without having to worry about acting in specific ways or trying to please anyone else. So sit together, watch a movie, go for a walk, do something that makes both of you happy without the need for words.
Relationship experts would probably agree that quiet time indeed helps both partners recharge. Still, it also helps to reduce stress and anxiety.
3. Don’t give unsolicited advice
Don’t give your partner advice if they haven’t asked for it. Saying something like “you should do this” or “you shouldn’t do that” is not helpful because you are telling them what to do without knowing what they want. Even worse, you are telling them what you think they need to do without knowing for sure that you are right.
Talking about serious matters is good and necessary in any relationship because it shows that the relationship is strong enough to be able to deal with problems together. However, unsolicited advice goes against the trust built between two (or more) people who love and respect each other.
So maybe you think that your partner should just ignore other people’s comments and not let them bother them so much, but guess what? Your partner might actually want to know what you think about it! And if they don’t ask, take the hint and keep your thoughts to yourself.
Remember: everyone has different opinions, and when it comes to serious matters, especially when they relate to your partner personally, it is best not to give unsolicited advice.
4. Spend quality time together
Spending quality time together is more important than how much time you spend together. What matters is that both of you feel that you have a common ground to share and look forward to seeing each other.
It doesn’t matter whether you spend cuddle time together with your partner at home or spend a bit of time out in public. What matters is that the two of you feel comfortable being honest about what you think and enjoy spending time together without distractions.
Spending quality time together is key in any happy relationship because it shows your partner that they are important enough for you to prioritize them over everything else.
5. Don’t nag
Nagging is one of the worst things you can do to your partner because it shows them that you are unhappy with them. The worst part of nagging is that it sends the message that you think you are right and your partner is wrong, despite how unimportant the issue might be. It makes him feel like he can’t do anything right in your eyes.
When something bothers you, don’t wait for them to apologize but instead talk openly about it. It is okay to calmly explain what bothers you and how your partner can avoid doing it again in the future.
6. Give them compliments and let them know that you appreciate them
People want to feel that they are important in the lives of others. Telling your partner that you appreciate them will make them feel good about themselves and ensure that they know how much they mean to you. It is even better when you show it with words, actions, and gifts. We all love getting compliments, but what matters more is that they come from someone who really knows you and loves you.
When your partner does something good, notice it and show them that you appreciate them for it. Compliments are a win-win because not only will they make your partner feel better about themselves, but they also know how much you care by noticing the things they do for you.
7. Show interest in their hobbies and passions
People like to share what they love with the important people in their lives. Showing interest in your partner’s favorite activities and letting them teach you about them will make him feel like they are really part of a team with you.
Asking questions and talking about things that matter to your partner shows that you care enough to listen and understand their point of view. Noticing the little things about their hobbies and passions will make your partner feel special because it shows that you pay attention to the details.
8. Respect them and their decisions
Respect is one of the key elements in any relationship. In order to respect your partner, you have to understand that they are a separate person from you with different thoughts, opinions, and insights into situations.
Respect is not only about accepting your partner’s thoughts and opinions but also trusting that they have enough sense to come up with a good decision. Letting them make their own decisions shows that you respect them as a person.
If you disagree with your partner, express your concerns calmly. Respectfully presenting your point of view shows that you care about what they think instead of just telling them what to do.
One way to ensure that your relationship is happy and healthy is by giving your partner the time, attention, respect, and compliments they deserve. When you are in a relationship with someone, remember that it takes two to make it work. When both of you put in the effort to make sacrifices for each other’s happiness despite how busy or tired you are, it can go a long way.
The best relationship books to help you survive and thrive
Whether single or in a relationship, it can be tough to navigate the waters of love. These books offer advice and guidance from experts and real-life couples alike, giving you the tools you need to make your relationship work. These books will surely provide some valuable insights if you are looking for a way to spice up your love life or simply learn how to better communicate with your partner.
- Love: The Psychology of Attraction: A Practical Guide to Successful Dating and a Happy Relationship
- Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
- The Power of Four Bases for Relationships: Can You Hit a Home Run in a Relationship?
- Communication and Relationship: A Guide to Deeper Connection, Trust and Intimacy to Improve Communication and Strengthen Your Bond as a Couple
- Couple's Bucket List: 101 Fun, Engaging Dating Ideas