A letter to your boyfriend that will make him cry: Tips & Examples

Amy Clark & Janet Smith January 22, 2024 • 7 minutes read

Did your boyfriend break your heart? Did he do something that made you feel betrayed, disrespected, or unloved? You may be feeling lots of emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, and betrayal.

It can be difficult to put these feelings into words, but writing a letter to your boyfriend is often a cathartic experience. It can also be a way to ensure that he hears your side of the story and understands how much pain he has caused you.

If you’re unsure where to start, consider using the following tips and examples as a guide!

Tips for writing a letter to your boyfriend expressing hurt feelings

Before we get into the examples, here are a few tips to keep in mind as you write your letter:

1. Start by taking some time to yourself

If you’re overwhelmed with a flood of emotions, it’s helpful to take a few days to calm down and think about what you want to say. Once you’re ready, sit down with a pen and paper, or start typing on your computer or phone.

If you order your thoughts and feelings before you start writing, your letter will be more effective. It’s never a good idea to write in a state of anger or revenge. So take some time to yourself, and then start writing when you’re feeling more clearheaded. This way, you can avoid saying anything in the heat of the moment that you might later regret.

2. Use “I” statements

When writing about your hurt feelings, be sure to use “I” statements. For example, you might say, “I feel disrespected when you talk to me that way,” or “I felt betrayed when I found out about what you did.”

Using “I” statements will help your boyfriend understand how his actions made you feel. It will also make it more difficult for him to deny or brush off your feelings.

3. Avoid attacking or name-calling

This letter is about your hurt feelings, so it’s important to focus on yourself and not to try and attack or hurt your boyfriend in return. Name-calling and attacking will only make the situation worse and won’t help you communicate how you’re feeling.

So even if you’re feeling tempted to call him names or say hurtful things, try to resist. It’s important to maintain a level of respect, even if you’re feeling disrespected by your boyfriend. It’s unlikely to result in a productive conversation when one person is attacking the other. If you find yourself getting angry as you write, try to take a step back and focus on how his actions made you feel.

4. Be honest about your feelings

Don’t try to downplay your hurt feelings or make them seem less important than they are. This will only make it harder for your boyfriend to understand the true extent of his actions.

It’s okay to be vulnerable and to express your raw emotions. He needs to understand how much pain he has caused you in order for him to realize the gravity of the situation.

5. Be as specific as possible when describing your hurt feelings

The more specific you can be when describing your hurt feelings, the better. This will help your boyfriend exactly understand what he did that hurt you and why it was so painful.

For example, instead of saying, “I felt disrespected when you talked to me that way,” you might say, “I felt disrespected when you called me a stupid name in front of our friends.”

The more specific you can be, the easier it will be for your boyfriend to understand your perspective and the more likely he is to take your feelings seriously.

Examples of letters expressing hurt feelings to a boyfriend

Now that you know what to keep in mind as you write your letter, here are a few examples to get you started:

Letter No. 1

Dear ____,

I’m writing this letter because I need to tell you how much your actions have hurt me. I know it’s not easy for either of us to talk about our hurt feelings, but I hope you’ll listen to what I have to say.

When you _, it made me feel __. I felt like __.

I know you might not have meant to hurt me, but that doesn’t change how I feel.

I need you to understand how much pain you’ve caused me, and I hope you’ll take my feelings seriously.

I love you, and I hope we can work through this.

Sincerely, (Your name)

Letter No. 2

Dear ____,

We’ve been together for a long time, and I thought you knew me better than anyone. But lately, I’ve been feeling like you don’t really know me at all.

I felt hurt when you _. It made me feel __.

I know you might not have realized how much that would hurt me, but it did.

I need you to understand how your actions made me feel, and I hope we can talk about this so that it doesn’t happen again.

Sincerely, (Your name)

Letter No. 3

Dear ____,

I’m not sure if you’re aware of how much pain you’ve caused me, but I need you to know.

When you _, it made me feel __. I felt like __.

This might be hard for you to hear, but it’s something I need to say. I hope you understand the severity of what you did, and I hope you’ll take my feelings seriously.

I won’t tolerate being treated like this. If you can’t respect my feelings, then I’m not sure if this relationship is right for me.

I hope you’ll take some time to think about this, and I hope we can talk soon.

Sincerely, (Your name)

Letter No. 4

Dear ____,

I’ve been struggling with something, and I need to tell you about it.

When you _, it made me feel __. I felt like __.

I know you might not have meant it the way it came across, but it hurt me nonetheless.

I hope you can understand how I feel and why this is so important to me.

I need some time to process this, but I hope we can talk about it soon.

Sincerely, (Your name)

Letter No. 5

Dear ____,

I have wanted to write you a letter for a long time, but I wasn’t sure how to say what I needed to say. I decided to write this letter because this isn’t something I can just ignore or forget about.

When you _, it made me feel __. I felt like __. It hurt me so much because _.

I’m not sure if you understand how much this has affected me, but I need you to know. This isn’t something I can just move on from.

To be honest, I’m not sure if I can continue this relationship if you can’t respect my feelings and If I want to talk with you about this.

I just wanted to share my feelings with you so you know how much pain you’ve caused me.

Sincerely, (Your name)

I hope these examples give you an idea of what to include in your own letter. Just remember to be honest about your feelings and specific about the actions that hurt you. Good luck! If you need inspiration, head over to this article to make your boyfriend happy!

Relationship Expert

Amy Clark

Amy Clark is a freelance writer who writes about relationships, marriage, and family. She has been happily married for over ten years and loves her husband and three kids. Before …

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Dating Expert

Janet Smith

Janet Smith is a freelance writer who writes about psychology, relationships, and dating. She has always been interested in understanding the human brain and how it affects our …

Read full bio

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