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27 reasons why he keeps you around

Have you ever asked yourself this question: "Why does he keep me around if he doesn't want a relationship?" Today, you'll find out!

Author picture of Janet Smith
Dating Expert Janet Smith July 21, 2022 • 12 minutes read
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There are numerous reasons why a guy might not want a relationship with you but still want you around. In this article, we’ll explore some of them. Continue reading to find out 20 reasons why a guy might keep you around even if he doesn’t want a relationship!

1. He likes you as a friend

1. He likes you as a friend

Sometimes we like people a lot, but just as friends. If this is the case, the guy might not want a relationship because he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. He might be afraid of what will happen if things don’t work out between you two.

2. He’s not ready for a relationship

This is probably the most common reason why a guy won’t enter into a relationship with a girl. He might be enjoying your company and the way things are going, but he’s not quite ready to take things to the next level.

This could be for a number of reasons, such as not wanting to commit, being afraid of getting hurt again, or simply not being ready for something serious.

3. He doesn’t want to hurt you

This is a very noble reason and one that many guys might have. He might be afraid to tell you the truth that he just isn’t into you.

Maybe he’s open to a relationship, but you’re not the one for him. Yep, that hurts. And maybe that’s the reason why he’s keeping you around without making any advances. He doesn’t want to see the hurt in your eyes when he tells you the truth.

4. He’s waiting for the right girl

Some guys are very particular about who they want to be in a relationship with. They might not be interested in you, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not interested in having a relationship at all.

He might be waiting for the right girl to come along, and when she does, he’ll be ready to jump into a relationship with her.

5. He’s not into relationships

5. He's not into relationships

Some guys just aren’t into relationships. They might enjoy the companionship of a woman, but when it comes down to it, they don’t want anything more than that.

This could be for a number of reasons, such as not wanting to be tied down, enjoying their freedom too much, or simply not being interested in having a serious relationship.

6. He doesn’t know what he wants

Maybe, he’s just unsure of his feelings. He might like you, but he’s not sure if he wants to commit to a relationship. This can be a really tough spot for both of you because it means that he’s not entirely sure about where things are going.

He might also keep you around as a backup plan in case things don’t work out with the girl he does want to be with. Just don’t be a backup plan. You’re better than this. You deserve more.

7. He doesn’t want to be alone

Maybe he’s just lonely. Most people hate being alone. He may enjoy your company, but not as a romantic partner.

This is definitely a case where you should be careful. If he’s only keeping you around to avoid being alone, then he’s not really interested in you at all.

8. It’s convenient for him

Maybe he’s just lazy. He might not want to go out and find a new girlfriend, so he’s keeping you around as a convenient option.

If this is the case, it’s not likely that things will progress any further than they are now. He’s not interested in you; he’s just interested in having someone to be around.

9. He’s hung up on another one

9. He's hung up on another one

Maybe he still loves his ex and can’t get her out of his mind. If this is the case, it’s not likely that he’ll enter into a new relationship anytime soon.

But maybe he has a crush on another girl. Maybe someone you know. He might be keeping you around as a way to stay in contact with her or as a way to make her jealous. Either way, it’s not good news for you.

10. He’s been hurt before

Ouch. This one is a tough one. He might have been hurt really badly in the past, and he’s just not ready to open up his heart again.

This could be for a number of reasons, such as being cheated on, getting heartbroken, or simply being hurt too many times.

If this is the case, it’s going to take a lot of time and patience for him to be ready to get into a new relationship. And it’s not likely that you’ll be the one to help him do that.

11. It may feel bigger for you than it is for him

Maybe you’re overestimating the things between you two. You might be thinking that he’s the one, but he’s just not feeling it in the same way that you are.

You might be putting all of your eggs into this one basket, and he’s just not ready to commit to anything yet. Maybe he doesn’t even have feelings at all for you.

It’s important to remember that not everything is as it seems. Just because he’s not in a relationship with you doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you. He might just not be ready for something serious right now.

12. He likes being single too much

Being in a relationship may have advantages, but being single does so too. Some people just enjoy being single. They don’t want the hassle of a relationship, they don’t want to have to worry about someone else, and they certainly don’t want to have to change their lifestyle.

If this is the case, then it’s not likely that he’ll ever want to be in a relationship. He’s happy just the way he is, and there’s no changing that.

13. He likes sleeping with you

13. He likes sleeping with you

Maybe you’re no romantic partner for him, but more of an intimate one. He might be enjoying your company in the bedroom, but that’s as far as it goes.

He might not want to have to deal with all of the other stuff that comes with a relationship, like having to see you all the time, talking to you, and spending time with you.

If this is the case, then it’s important to set boundaries. Let him know that you’re not okay with just being a sex toy for him and see how he reacts. If he’s not interested in changing things, then it might be time to move on.

14. He wants to keep his options open

He’s just not sure if he wants to be in a relationship right now. This is definitely a possibility. People change their minds all the time about relationships.

Maybe he’s just not ready to settle down yet. Maybe he’s still trying to figure out what he wants in life. Or maybe he’s just not sure if you’re the one for him.

If this is the case, then it’s important to give him some time. He might come around eventually, but you can’t wait forever. If he’s not interested after a certain amount of time, then it might be time to move on.

15. He’s insecure

Insecurity can play a big role in relationships. He might not be sure if he’s good enough for you or if you’ll leave him. He may fear that you’ll run away after a short while.

He might feel like he has to keep you around in order to make himself feel better. If this is the case, then it’s important to reassure him that you’re not going anywhere. Let him know that you like being with him and that you’re not going to leave him for anyone else. Do whatever you can to make him feel secure in the relationship.

16. He likes the feeling you give him

Sometimes, people just really enjoy being adored. Maybe his self-confidence needs this reassurance your presence gives him. You’re into him; that’s a big confidence boost. Letting go of you might strip him of that.

If that’s really the case and you’re a mere ego-boost for him, it’s time to move on.

17. He puts his dreams first

17. He puts his dreams first

It’s possible that he just doesn’t want to sacrifice his dreams for a relationship right now. Relationships take time and effort, and sometimes, people just don’t have that to give.

He might be focusing all of his energy on his career or on other areas of his life and not want to bring a partner into the mix.

If this is the case, then it’s important to understand where he’s coming from. He might change his mind in the future, but don’t count on it. In the meantime, focus on your own dreams and aspirations.

18. He doesn’t feel appreciated by you

One of the main reasons why people stay in relationships is because they feel appreciated. If he doesn’t feel appreciated by you, then he might start to feel like he’s not worth it.

He might not see the point in continuing to put all of this effort into something that’s not going to pay off for him. So, if you don’t show him how important he is to you, no wonder he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

19. You show too little effort

If you’re not putting in any effort to conquer him, why would you put in the effort in a relationship? So, it’s possible that he’s just not interested in you because you’re not making an effort.

If you want him to be interested in you, then you have to show him that you are. Be flirty, be fun, and be loving. Let him know that you want him.

20. You show too much effort

On the other hand, showing too much effort is bad too. He might feel overwhelmed or smothered by all of your attention. It’s possible that he just wants to be friends and not romantic partners.

If this is the case, then it’s important to back off a little bit. Let him come to you. Don’t bombard him with text messages and calls. Let him take the lead, but bait him every now and then.

Because showing too much effort seems like you are of lower value than him. Don’t do that. You’re equals!

21. You’re not his type

21. You're not his type

This is definitely a possibility. He might not be interested in you because you don’t fit his type.

Maybe he’s into blondes, and you’re a brunette. Maybe he likes girls who are more sporty, and you’re more of a girly girl. Maybe he likes art, and you like cars.

If you want to convince him that you’re worth his time, then you have to show him that you’re not like the other girls he’s dated. Prove to him that you’re different and special.

22. You don’t have anything in common

It’s possible that he just doesn’t see a future with you because you don’t have anything in common. You might not like the same things, you might not have the same hobbies, or you might not come from the same background.

If this is the case, then it’s important to find common ground. Find something that you can share and enjoy together. If that’s not possible, then it might be time to move on.

23. He’s scared of commitment

Commitment can be daunting. He might not want a relationship because he’s scared of commitment.

Maybe he’s been hurt in the past, or maybe he just doesn’t think that relationships are worth it. If this is the case, then you need to have a serious talk with him about his feelings. Find out why he’s scared of commitment and see if there’s a way to overcome those fears.

24. He doesn’t know if you’re serious

It’s possible that he doesn’t want a relationship with you because he doesn’t know if you’re serious. You might be sending him mixed signals or maybe you haven’t made it clear that you want something more than just friendship.

If this is the case, then it’s time to sit down and have a talk with him. Let him know that you’re interested in a relationship and see if he’s on the same page.

25. You intimidate him

25. You intimidate him

It’s possible that you intimidate him. He might not want a relationship with you because he’s scared of being rejected, or he’s scared of not being good enough for you.

If this is the case, then you need to make him feel comfortable around you. Be more open and less judgmental. Let him know that it’s okay to make mistakes.

26. You’re misinterpreting things

It’s possible that you’re misinterpreting things. He might not want a relationship with you because he just doesn’t have those feelings for you.

If this is the case, then it’s time to move on. Don’t waste your time and energy on someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. You deserve someone who loves you back.

27. He can’t trust you

He might not want a relationship with you because he can’t trust you. Maybe you’ve lied to him in the past, or maybe you’ve hurt him in some way.

If this is the case, then you need to work on building trust. Show him that you’re trustworthy and that you’re

There are many reasons why he might not want a relationship with you, but it’s important to remember that there is always a possibility for change. If you really want him to be in your life, then you have to work for it. Be patient and be persistent. Eventually, he might come around.


The truth about dating: Books you need to read

If you’re looking for advice on how to have more success when it comes to dating, then you’ll want to check out these reads. Each can teach you something different about the process, from being more confident in yourself to reading other people’s signals correctly. So whether you’re just starting or have been dating for a while and could use help, check out these titles.

  1. Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
  2. Love: The Psychology of Attraction: A Practical Guide to Successful Dating and a Happy Relationship
  3. Seriously, This Is Online Dating?: How to Love Yourself Harder and Date Smarter
  4. Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
  5. Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You F*cking Idiot
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Author picture of Janet Smith
Dating Expert

Janet Smith

Janet Smith is a freelance writer who writes about psychology, relationships, and dating. She has always been interested in understanding the human brain and how it affects our …

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