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What's the ideal time between the second and the third date?

Finding the perfect time to ask for a third date can be tricky. But we're here to help! These tips and tricks will be life-saving!

Author picture of David Hall
Dating Expert David Hall November 15, 2023 • 7 minutes read
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So, you had a great second date with someone you’re really interested in. It went great, and you had a wonderful time. But now you’re wondering, though, what the ideal time frame is between the second and third date. Is there a specific amount of time you should wait before asking that special someone for a third date?

This question and much more will be answered today! Continue reading to find out everything you need to know!

What’s the ideal time between the second and the third date?

What's the ideal time between the second and the third date?

Many people are afraid to ask for a third date too soon. But what “too soon” is really depends! Let me help you out by giving you some scenarios.

You had a great second date with someone, and you want to see them again really soon. You might be worried that if you ask for a third date too soon, you’ll seem desperate or clingy.

But the truth is, if you’re interested in this person and had a good time on your second date; there’s no harm in asking for a third date sooner rather than later. In fact, it might show them that you’re really interested in getting to know them better.

On the other hand, if your second date was kind of mediocre or you’re not sure if you want to see this person again (or if they are interested in you at all), waiting a little bit longer to ask for a third date might be a good idea.

So, there is no set time frame that you should wait between the second and the third date.

The best time to ask for a third date if the second date went well

The best time to ask for a third date if the second date went well

If the two of you spend a wonderful time together on your second date, you should ask them right away! The best thing to do in this scenario is to ask them right after the date when saying goodbye.

If you didn’t ask them right after the date, you could always text them the next day. Tell them you’ve had lots of fun last night and would love to see them again.

No matter which of these options you choose, that way, you can gauge their reaction and see if they are open to the idea of seeing each other again soon. If they say yes, then great! They are definitely interested in you, and you can start planning your third date.

But if they seem hesitant or say they need time to think about it, maybe giving them a day or two is a good idea. In that scenario, let them come back to you and ask for a third date.

But if they take longer than a week to contact you, your alarm bells should be ringing! Even though they might just be busy, it could mean that they don’t want to see you anymore.

Ask them if they still want to meet or if they’ve changed their mind. If so, don’t take it personally.

The best time to ask for a third date if the second date went mediocre

The best time to ask for a third date if the second date went mediocre

If your second date was just okay or you’re not sure how they felt about it, you might want to wait a little longer before asking for a third date. In this case, waiting a few days to a week is probably a good idea.

It gives them time to think about whether or not they want to see you again. And if they do want to see you, it shows that they are really interested in getting to know you better.

But if they don’t contact you within that time frame, it might be a good idea to reach out to them and see what’s going on. They might just be really busy, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

The best time to ask for a third date if the second date didn’t go well

The best time to ask for a third date if the second date didn't go well

If your date was terrible or they showed no interest in you, it might be best to move on. In this situation, there’s no need to wait any longer, and you shouldn’t ask them for a third date.

It’s time to start looking for someone else that might be a better match for you. You don’t need to feel bad about it, either! It’s better to find out sooner rather than later if this person isn’t right for you.

The best time to ask for a third date

The best time to ask for a third date

As you can see, there is no one answer for this question since it varies from person to person. No matter when you decide to ask for a third date, just make sure that you’re genuine about it and that you’re not doing it just because you feel like you have to.

If the second date went well, there’s no harm in asking for a third date sooner rather than later. And if it didn’t go well, maybe it’s best to move on and find someone else that you’re more compatible with.

The most important thing is that you’re comfortable with the decision that you make and that you’re being true to yourself.

How to ask for a third date

How to ask for a third date

So, now that you know when is the best time to ask for a third date, what’s the best way to go about it? If you want to ask for a third date in person, the best thing to do is to simply say, “I had a great time on our last date, and I would love to see you again. Would you be interested in going out with me again?”

You can also ask them if they’re free for a specific day or time. That way, they can decide right then and there if they want to go out with you again or not.

Don’t play games

Don't play games

Many people still have the time to play silly games. Many people believe in the three-day rule, which is the idea that you should wait three days after a date before you contact them.

The thinking behind this is that it will make you seem less desperate and more in demand. But in reality, all it does is create unnecessary drama and confusion.

If you like someone, why would you want to play games? Be confident, and don’t be afraid to let them know that you’re interested in them. It might take a little bit of courage, but the payoff will be worth it.

What if they say no to a third date?

What if they say no to a third date?

If they say no to a third date, don’t take it personally. Being able to deal with rejection is a major step in being an adult. Don’t be childish and become aggressive toward the person. Not everyone you date is going to want to see you again, and that’s okay.

If they say no, it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. It just means that they’re not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. And that’s perfectly fine.

The best thing to do in this situation is to simply move on and find someone else that might be a better match for you.


How to win at early stages dating: The ultimate list of books

If you're looking for books about the early stages of dating, you've come to the right place. We've put together a list of some of our favorite books about dating, all of which are perfect for early stages in a relationship.

  1. Dating Sucks, but You Don't: The Modern Guy's Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner
  2. Seven Secrets of Modern Dating: The He Said, She Said Guide for Getting from Single to Spouse
  3. First Date Mastery: The Complete First Date Psychology Guide For Men
  4. Just Send the Text: An Expert's Guide to Letting Go of the Stress and Anxiety of Modern Dating
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Author picture of David Hall
Dating Expert

David Hall

David Hall is a self-taught dating expert who works as a freelance writer to help people improve their love lives. He has always been interested in dating, physical attraction, and …

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