Your date just said goodbye and went home, and now you have a moment to reflect on your time together. The conversation was great, the chemistry was even better, but there’s one problem: What should you text after a first date? If you want everything to go smoothly, here are some tips and text examples for you!
Tips for texting after the first date
Let’s start with the dating game basics! There are some general rules you’ll want to follow when it comes to texting after the first date. Here are the answers to all of your questions!
1. What to do after the first date?
A good rule of thumb is: Send the person a text if you like them. It’s as simple as that! Well, luckily, we live in the 21st century!
Texting is a great way to reach out and let the person know you had a good time. And even if you didn’t, you can easily let them off the hook by saying it was nice meeting them, but you’re not interested in deepening the relationship any further.
2. Who should text first after a date?
Whoever of you wants to text first! There is no official rule or anything, and it depends on how the date went. Healthy relationships aren’t about who has the upper hand.
If you enjoyed yourself at your first meeting, then send that person a text saying so! They might be wondering if they should reach out to you too. Don’t hesitate and start a regular conversation! You don’t want to seem disinterested or give them mixed signals.
3. When to text after the first date?
This is another question that doesn’t have a correct answer. You can wait a couple of days before you text, or you can do it right after! It’s really up to you.
The best advice is that you should contact them whenever you want to! Don’t feel pressured into texting fast or slow just because of society’s idea of what dating should be like. There is no schedule for when to text after the first date, so follow your instincts!
4. What to say after the first date?
Now let’s get into the fun stuff! You can go in all sorts of different directions when it comes to texting after the first date.
Keeping your texts honest and straightforward is better because nobody likes a vague message. If you need some inspiration, you can find all kinds of unique ideas below!
Best text after first date examples
There are many text messages you can send to make sure the person knows you had fun and want to go out with them again. There’s no wrong way to say what you want! But if you need help getting started, use these examples below as inspiration!
1. Make sure they got home safely.
These kinds of messages may seem old-fashioned, but we can guarantee they’re effective! It’s nice to know you’re looking out for the people you care about and want them to get home safely. And you’ve got the perfect excuse to text them right away. Here are a few examples:
Example 1
This text is a simple example that also involves a conversation starter question. It’s just a nice thing to text someone after a date, and it’ll leave them feeling special without being clingy!
Example 2
This follow-up text is pretty basic but gets the job done. It’s saying you had a lovely time and want to see them again, but it doesn’t make it sound like you’re waiting by the phone for their response.
Example 3
This is a great text to send if you’re interested in someone, but you don’t want it to seem like that’s the only reason you reached out. It helps keep the conversation going and can lead to your next date!
2. Suggest a second date idea.
If you enjoyed their company and want to see them again, it’s a great idea to suggest a second date immediately. It is a perfect opportunity for you to take control of the situation and lead things in your desired direction! Here are some examples:
Text 1: “I just discovered a place downtown that serves the perfect coffee! Would you like to meet there tomorrow after work?”
This first example is pretty straightforward. You’re asking them out right away and suggesting a specific time to see each other again. It’s kind of like saying, “I had fun tonight… Let’s do it again!”
Text 2: “I had an awesome time with you, how about the movies on Saturday? The new film starring XYZ has an excellent rating.”
This example shows that you enjoy their company and want to see them again. Like in the first example, you’re already suggesting the next date idea and a specific time and place.
Text 3: “Just saw the coolest pub on the other side of town. Would you like to go for a drink or two on Friday night?”
Going to a pub or somewhere with a large social scene is a terrific way to gauge their interest and check for chemistry. If you had fun tonight, why not try it again?
3. Talk about something from the first date
It’s much easier to start a conversation when using something from your first date as a building block. And if the date goes well, there will be plenty to discuss! Here are some examples:
Text 1: “Wow! I just started the TV series you’ve recommended. What do you think about the character XYZ? I think there’s something off about them!”
This example is pretty simple, but it can go a long way. You’re showing interest in their opinion and that you’re into the same things. This example works with movies, books, or any other piece of media.
Text 2: “How did XYZ go today? I had my fingers crossed for you :)”
This is a great idea to show interest in their life! If you talked about some important event or something, they care about. By asking thoughtful questions like this, you indicate that you’re thinking of them and care about their life.
Text 3: “I’ll visit the new exhibition at the gallery on Tuesday. Would you like to join me? I think it suits your taste!”
Another example that demonstrates that you were listening and hearing what they had to say. If you both enjoy art, why not check out the new exhibition? And if you’re both free on Tuesday, this is also a great second-date idea.
4. Give them an ego boost.
Complimenting the other person is a great way to get the relationship off on the right foot. This type of text will make them smile and feel more appreciated. And it’s a simple compliment that won’t take up too much of your time!
Text 1: “I’m so impressed that you used to compete in XYZ! Maybe you can teach me on our next date?”
It is a great way to compliment someone based on their expertise. If they mentioned something impressive during your first date, why not give them a little ego boost?
Text 2: “I had no idea you were an expert on XYZ! Mind if you tell me more about it next Thursday over dinner?”
This example works best if the other person shows impressive knowledge of a specific topic. People love to talk about their interests, so they’ll most likely enjoy this. This text can lead to meaningful conversations!
Text 3: “I had a great time with you. I’ve never met someone who enjoys watching documentaries about XYZ! That sounds so interesting. Do you have any recommendations?”
If one of your interests is something they love, why not allow them to discuss it with you? If they have plenty of knowledge of a topic, this will be a great way to get them excited.
5. Get flirty with them.
Being flirty is a great way to get things moving in the right direction. Some people prefer sending flirty messages instead of straight-up asking them out on a second date. Here are two examples that can lead to an amazing conversation:
Text 1: “I smile every time I recall your XYZ story. It was so funny! We should continue the chat over dinner next Saturday!”
This is a great way to get flirty and smiley, but it doesn’t come across as too strong. It’s a great way to hint that you had fun and want to go on future dates!
Text 2: “Just so you know, you crushed that first date.”
This example is pretty straightforward. You’re showing the other person that you had fun and want to see them again. It’s just a matter of time before they ask you out on another date!
Text 3: “You really put a smile on my face last night. If you’re free next Friday, why don’t we grab a drink?”
What a great example of a flirty tone! If they put a smile on your face last night, why not make them feel as good as possible? The other person will definitely know what you’re thinking, but it’s up to them if they want to continue the fun!
6. Let them down easy
Sometimes it’s best, to be honest right away. Even after the first date, you might already know they’re not the right person for you. If that’s the case, let them down easy, so they don’t get their hopes up! Here are some examples:
Text 1: “Hey, I had a great time with you tonight. But I think we’re better as friends.” Here’s an example of what to text after a first date when you know it will not work out.
You’re thanking them for having fun together but letting them know you see this relationship more in the friend zone.
Text 2: “Hi, I’m going to be honest with you. I just don’t feel the dating spark. But thank you for a nice evening!”
This second example is a little more straightforward and shows that you’re interested in honesty. Some people don’t prefer this approach, but if it’s the vibe you got from them it can help cut things off right away.
Text 3: “Hey, I wanted to text you and let you know that I just don’t see this going beyond a friendship. It was nice getting to know you, though!”
Here’s another example of letting them down easily. You’re saying it was nice getting to know them while letting them know the dating spark wasn’t there for you either. This is a simple way to let them down without being too harsh.
The truth about dating: Books you need to read
If you’re looking for advice on how to have more success when it comes to dating, then you’ll want to check out these reads. Each can teach you something different about the process, from being more confident in yourself to reading other people’s signals correctly. So whether you’re just starting or have been dating for a while and could use help, check out these titles.
- Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
- Love: The Psychology of Attraction: A Practical Guide to Successful Dating and a Happy Relationship
- Seriously, This Is Online Dating?: How to Love Yourself Harder and Date Smarter
- Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age
- Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You F*cking Idiot
David Hall
David Hall is a self-taught dating expert who works as a freelance writer to help people improve their love lives. He has always been interested in dating, physical attraction, and …
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